Not sure what I am even doing here.  Some times I just feel so alone and don’t really have anyone to turn to who understands or has any answers. 

My husband has had OCD (fear of germs/washing) really severe for the last year.  His OCD actually started with checking 6 years ago, but he got through it and lived pretty good for a few years.  Then last year I had to have a surgery for skin cancer and a month later had a miscariage and about a month after that our whole lives fell apart when the washing symptoms took over completely, literally from normal to severe in just about 1 month.  We went to a doctor for the 1st time around that time and he put my husband on Luvox.  It has been a slow process, but little by little things were getting a little better.  Then about 6 weeks ago things have started to go down hill again.  I am scared to death where this will take us.  We also have a 3 year old little girl to think about, but when he has an episode the only thing he can see is his problem, not wha t it does to us also.  Like last year when things got the worst she used to cry when she came home from visiting my mom.  Things were really tense.  He couldn’t even get off the couch and walk across the house without help and he would wash until he was nearly bleeding and have us to wash many times also.  Like I said he has came a long way since then, but still today can’t walk in the kitchen to fix his own food because he is afraid of getting near something that would trigger his panic (shoes, trash can, etc.) He has trouble even walking in the bedroom to get dressed because he has to walk by the clothes hamper so often he has me to bring him his clothes in teh other room.  He goes through about a box of baby wipes a day because even when he goes to the restroom he is afraid the soap dispencer and handles on the sink are contaminated. 

I don’t know… There are so many things I can’t even begin to explain them all. 

This probably just sound selfish and whiny since he is the one wtih the problem.  It is just that I feel so stuck between what I am supposed to do.  I have done research and know that by helping him avoid his problems it only makes his fears worse, but if I don’t he melts down and then we fight really bad and we have a daughter so I don’t want to put her through that kind of home life, but I also don’t want to raise her the way we live now, with all the rules, etc.  Also it crosses my mind that if something were to ever happen to me how could he really take care of her the way he should when he can’t now. 

If anyone is actually still reading at this point I’m sorry for all the rambling and scattered thoughts. I just don’t know how to deal with this any more. I don’t what to do. 

Even the doctor said it was the most severe he had seen, but then didn’t offer any real help.  Just more or less gave him meds and then may as well have said good luck.

I feel so angry, hurt and alone.