Hi everyone,

This is my first blog. Wanted to let everyone get to know me first. A few words about myself first: I’m a resident physician in an intense internal medicine program somewhere in the united states. All my life I wanted to be someone ‘special’ and work towards making a difference in my life and other’s lives. I wanted it ‘all’ a great career, social life, family and ofcourse happiness. But feel that I have none of this. I’ll fast forwards my life to the age of 17, where I starting working towards this goal. I sacrificed so much to get here. To get to where I am… the parties I didn’t go to, the studying, the lack of exersing… the relationships I kept. I maintained an eight year long distance relationship of convinience while I was studying.

Now all should fit into place, I’m where I ‘want’ to be. Working rediculous hours per week, my partner came to live with me, can’t say I’m happy though. And the messed up thing is that I don’t know what I want. Do I want this lifestyle, do I want my partner? do I want this life?

I look at old pics from a few years ago and see a beautiful girl, with a terrific body, incredible looks, and driven. I’m now a shell of myself, 20 pounds overweight, with little drive, my one goal is not to get fired from my job. I don’t have many friends in this new town of my residence.

I need to come up with a goal for myself, I need to loose this extra weight, I need to meet new people, I need to be happy… its hard… on the outside people might envy what "i have’ but I’m so miserable….

ok goals for today: work out! I’m going to try to spend at least 3 hours in the gym and go out and read a book 🙂

I’m going to try to improve my situation and figure out ‘what I want to do’….

Sam

1 Comment
  1. taking_back 13 years ago

    hello and welcome to the tribe.  it may take you some time to figure out what you want to do so please don”t be hard on yourself.  I”m 32 and just figured out what I wanted and have gone back to school.  It is hard when you feel like you don”t have the support around you so come here for support.  Everyone is so kind and helpful and will try to be here for you when you need it.  I would suggest joining the groups Members in Need and Welcome to Dtribe.  This way when you need us you can post in their forums and we will all get a notification and many more people will see your post to read and respond to you.  there is such an outpouring of love on here and it is a wonderful place.  I”m glad you have joined us.

    Leslie

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