It is a curious thing, ladies and gentlemen, that I find myself pondering the nature of blogs. As many of you are familiar with Merriam-Webster's definition of a blog, I simply sought out some other definitions of them as I was given reason to do so. A blog is often a place for the writer to express his or her opinions…it can also be an online diary…a commentary on a variety of things…or it can focus on a particular topic/genre. To this end, I have often felt my blog here was of the personal variety (another sub-category of blog) and of the diary/opinion/commentary mixture. I may choose to include the events of my day, my feelings on a given day or subject, or perhaps recommend a book or movie.
This said, it has been expressed to me that blogs here ought to be sheerly of the supportive variety (and I expect that means I should simply be sympathizing with others, describing my misery and looking for optimistic quotations or universal answers to our shared problems etc.).
I would like to publicly disagree with such a notion. While I think encouraging my fellow Tribe members is quite important, I was not put solely upon this earth to be a shoulder to lean on (sometimes my shoulders get heavy with other things) or to lift spirits like Little Orphan Annie (Where is MY Daddy Warbucks?). I am a thinking individual who experiences life and has a perspective on it. I do not write for others unless they are specifically mentioned in my posts by name. I write for myself and I write what I want to share about my life. Sharing is a part of getting to know others as many of us share similar experiences in our lives and can feel empathy, amusement, anger, sadness, or a sense of identity with the posts we place here.
And so…I write about my life. I do not pretend to know what is happening in everybody else's life as I do not have contact, necessarily, with everybody else on a daily basis. If you are having a rough day…believe me, I am sorry to hear it. If you are having a good day…congratulations.
Here is where I stand…a little over a year has passed since I began, in earnest, to shift my behaviors to become a healthy person. I am proud to say that despite a great deal of adversity in my life (far outside the scope of OCD), I am in remission. This does not mean I am without problems and that I do not have to fight to stay in remission. I have been given tools and I use them. The minute I began this process I made the decision to head back to school for further certification. Despite a setback, I re-entered university in January. I will be done in late April/early May. Given my qualifications and my course of study, I shall be once more gainfully employed likely by next September. I own my own home and vehicle free and clear. I try to spend more time with family and friends. I try to give my dog more attention. I have taken in a garden snail (for those who are interested…his name is Walter and yes, I know they are hermaphrodites, but as he cannot hear me or communicate with me as to his gender preference or name preference…he's Walter until I know otherwise…and if he wants to be known as something else, I will gladly accommodate him/her). I intentionally expose myself to triggers to lessen their effect on me. I carry a heavy workload in school and I balance it well. I do get overwhelmed. I do feel blue sometimes. I have learned coping mechanisms for these feelings. Most importantly–I am happy and I am not at all unwilling to say what's on my mind when I feel like it. I feel confident in my relationships. I believe that's progress.
Progress is the reason most of us come here–progress and support. I support others' rights to pen whatever they like. I support my own right to pen what I like. I am glad to cheer others on and offer comfort when I can. In the meantime…I can laugh at some of my own situations in life and share them. And I can say laughter is a wonderful thing for OCD or any malady. I hope this blog finds my friends in high spirits and that you guys are all working to your greatest potential to live the life you want and deserve. Blessings!