Yes you all are right about how blind and ignorant people can be but when you live this EVERYDAY you get so tired of how they look at you and get mad or upset with you because you are the way you are…I have asked people close to me to research it and they wont it is like they dont care what i am going through or what i deal with…and all I want to do is sleep I dont want to get out of bed and just stay in my room until it passes,,,how in the world am i to go on and work and do the "NORMAL" things people do? when there are times i feel as if I cannot even function,,am i going into deeper depression because of this, or what the heck is going on? I just dont get it,,this is REALLY beginning to take a toll on me as you can tell from my blogs, and I am just trying to learn how to cope and deal with it all. But I just need help with all of this and have ABSOLUTELY no one to turn to…even my boss the other day took me to the office and told me I HAVE TO QUIT HAVING (what she calls it) "FITS" at work or she will have to let me go,,, I CANT CONTROL THEM so there you go yet another one against me and not understanding even though she said she did she don't…… IT FEELS AS IF I AM IN A WORLD ALL BY MYSELF BECAUSE NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW I FEEL,, I should be focusing on my husband and his recovery but you knowi cant even do that because this is so strong it is too powerful,,no matter how hard i try to win i seem to lose it.

but hey you know something??? I KNOW I SUFFER FROM ANXIETY AND PANIC AND i KNOW THE PHYSICAL FEELINGS I FEEL ARE VERY REAL TO ME AND I KNOW THAT ANX CANT HURT ME BUT WHEN YOUR BRAIN IS IN OVERDRIVE THINKING OF IMPENDING DOOM YOU CANT STOP THE THOUGHTS AND THAT IS WHAT LEADS ME TO GO TO ER

SO I WOULD LOVE FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT GET IT OR UNDERSTAND IT TO HAVE ONE DAY WITH WHAT I HAVE AND SEE HOW THEY WOULD REACT BUT THEY MUST HAVE THE FEAR OF DYING AS I DO,,,BECAUSE IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE IF YOU ARE SCARED OF DYING OR NOT WTH ANXIETY AND PANIC……