So…I don't know about anyone else, But last night (Tuesday night) was a horrible one. For several reasons.

One- Had a bad session with my eating disorder, as well as cutting. Partly do to the fact i'm getting really anxious about Saturday night (i'll go into what's going on saturday in a different entry)

two- I barely escaped having to go out to dinner with Mom, Marie, Marie's sister (Judy), and Dana….Since I'm sick though I was able to stay home and not have to leave the house…That's the only good thing coming out of this infection.

three- I get the results from my GYN Friday, so anxiety is shooting up from that…ngh…

This week has just been a horrible one, that's all it feels like these past couple of months, and with the holidays around the corner it's only adding to my anxiety and stress…

I feel so imperfect compared to those around me, I just was to take my razor blade and drag it across my face, my arms, legs and just all over my body to to rid how dirty I feel.

I don't even know why I'm still here…I keep trying to listen to my favorite music, (such as BVB…), or writing, drawing,etc to take my mind off the bullshit but it's not working like it used to…

Well…I guess that's it for now, I can't really focus well on writing at the moment, my anxiety is to high…and it's making me sensitive to everything

…We'll see how today goes I guess…Hope the rest of the Tribe is doing alright…

'see' you all later….Bye.