Well my hubby is away in another state for training with the military for 2 weeks. I know it doesn't seem like long but I am NOT handling as well as I would like. I have a 13yr old boy and 4yr old girl and I am 7 months pregnant. So I feel ALOT of pressure to stay calm and take care of the kids and animals. I will say I am doing a bit better than I expected. I honestly expected to drop hubby off at the airport today and completely freak out and have wave after wave of panic attacks. I had anticipatory anxiety before dropping him off but the panic attacks have not happened yet. I do however feel on the verge of panic and am struggling to maintain. Seeing as how I am pregnant it kind of limits the meds I can take that are fast acting. My psychiatric nurse practiitioner says no meds like that are available to me. I just hope I can keep this low level of anxiety and not spin out of control. Usually once I get to panic state it doesn't go back down. I just keep trying to take it hour by hour and cheer myself on but even with my kids here I feel lonely, vulnerable and struggling for control. This is stupid to me. I used to be the kind of person who was fine by herself. I liked being by myself. Now here I am hating it and wanting desperately to get my hubby back. Ugh 2 weeks!! I know I am being a baby right now but I have to vent. Please please pray for me and I will pray for you as well. Pray I sleep fine and eat fine and can get through this and that my pregnancy is unaffected by the stress of this situation. God bless!
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