To everyone that keeps accusing me of not trying,

First of all, mind yer own business. Second of all, if you like me support me and understand I have reasons for my choices. If you can't do that read the first sentence again.

All i've done for the past half of my life is try. I've tried more than most people. And i've also failed and succeeded more than most people, so for anyone to lecture me about “trying” is ironic and irritating as hell.

Instead of understanding there are always underhanded comments stating that it is your fault. “you suffer from depression and anxiety? Are you eating right?” or “what medications are you on” or “do you see a therapist?”…yea, no those things never crossed my mind. Not a fucking one!

I have been going to a psychiatrist for the past 12 years straight, not missing an appointment. And i've tried drugs, stayed on two, but what I have also allowed myself to endure is great disrespect and dehumanization from my psychiatric facility for over a decade. I've been lied to, misinformed, disrespected and wrongly accused of things by “doctors”.

I've tried more then you'll ever comprehend, and while your judgments hurt me, I am used to them. But you can all get fucked if you're going to try and make me feel responsible for the anxiety and depression that I feel.

I will no longer talk about it. I will not tell you what drugs I am on or was offered and refused. I will not tell you what is going on anymore. I will not tell you I hurt and have trouble in life. In the end it's your loss really. I'm far too interesting and weird as a person to not want to be friends with. Not to mention I know how to unconditionally love my friends and not judge them.

Me, not trying?!?! nuts to that!

3 Comments
  1. Boogels 9 years ago

    I think this is why hardly anyone knows about my anxiety/depression…
    Shit like that- it must be hard & in all honesty, I lost my two best friends due to not explaining this so called \'disease\'
    Its a bunch of bullshit.
    I know longer go to either of them for help… what\'s the point?
    When you need someone to really understand… they have no fucking clue…
    No one ever will.

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  2. Mo 9 years ago

    Great Rant! LOVED IT! I could say more about Fed up Docs but i wont…you have it all in perspective. Kudos

    Mo

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  3. bonobo77 9 years ago

    don\'t say anything about doctors or drugs. i was kicked off another site for simply stating \”i kinda feel like a guinea pig\”. apparently that site was getting money from drug companies…soon this one will ban me too because i cannot write how i really feel about doctors or the way i\'ve been treated…i also don\'t like the fact that my words are censured…carlin would be heartbroken

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