I think one of the biggest stressors in my life is school. Frankly, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’ve gone through about a dozen majors in the last two years and I’m still not sure what I want to do.

I’ve thought about English, Journalism, Pyschology, Photojournalism, Web Development, Information Technology, Marketing, Business, etc.. Right now, I’m trying to design my own major so that I can become a Web Developer but if I were to be honest with you, I don’t know, in my heart of hearts, if this is right for me.

My boyfriend keeps trying to help me but it only ends up frustrating me and then him as a result. He gets upset and sort of says, "Fine, I’ll just leave you alone." and I feel bad for making him feel that way but he doesn’t quite understand where I am. When he tries to help, he just shows me different ways to do Web Development. This program versus that one. That’s not what is holding me up, it’s whether this is right for me at all. So when he shows me other ways of doing it and gives me advice on it, it just reminds me that I have to commit and that I sort of am now…I can’t keep changing my mind…and it frustrates and upsets me. I feel trapped, like I’m slowly but surely being backed into a corner and if I don’t figure something out soon, my life is going to be quite a bit more complicated than it is even now.

I don’t know what is wrong. I feel empty like I can’t stand repetition unless it’s something that gives me some sort of entertainment. I want to experience new things, try this, taste that, so I get bored quickly. I fear that aspect of my personality, the inability to commit to anything actually important. A book? Sure. A game? Piece of cake. A boyfriend? Hell yeah, been with mine for two years. But a career? No chance.

Maybe I just haven’t found something exciting and fulfilling enough? I don’t know. What sort of job would I even need to keep me content? I’m not cut out for this. 🙁