Here is my story: I come from a family of six. Of these, I am the only one who has a father different from my siblings. Throughout my life I was treated as the reject. My mother hated my father. She considers my step father her true love. My mother has always resented me. My step father was indifferent. Needing love, I sought refuge with my real father who resnts me because he says Im like my mother. This feeling of worthlessness has followed me my entire life. I always wanted to become more than what I saw in my neighborhood. I have dreams for myself. It has been a long depressing battle but I just want to get more out of life. But my whole family has never wanted anything good to come out of my life. They have cursed me and promised me I wouldnt amount to anything and I would come back home crying and with nothing. I thank God that so far that has not hapened. I am dealing with the fact that there is no love at home. But, they are my family and I stilllove them. Up until recently, my only wish was to be in a position where I could asisst them. I have tried to get in touch with my brother. He wasnt the worst out of the bunch and despite everything I still loved and looked up to him. I sent him a message on facebook and he never replyed. I gave him the benefit of doubt and assumed that maybe he just doesnt use facebook often. I tried so many times to reach out to everyone. I have freinds at home that tell me my siblings and mother are saying I will fail and return home. I dont understand why all this…its my life…why does it bother them so much. I know the answer to this but I cant understand it. Well all of this has been happening for years. I was dealing with it. Then oneday I reopened a new facebook account. I opened my facebook account and got in touch wth all my freinds. Then I ran across my sisters page. Under it, I found my neice who I had been very close to in prior years. We were so close, I said she was my sister. I later found out my sister blocked me. I didnt care about that, she has done worse. Last week, I added my neice as a frend. She accepted. I then sent her a message commentting on how big she got. She is a teenager now. I told her its too bad I cant carry her on my back anymore. I sent the mesaage. It was returned to me by facebook with the comment that basically implied that I was being blocked from sending this person messages. I thought that was strange and surely a mistake. She was my baby, could she really do that? I decided that surely there was a mistake and ill simply post my comment to her wall. She never replied. I even saw her online posting to other people. My therapist would say it was all in my head. that people change and alot has happend since then. Thats true but it hard not to take things like this personal. Knowing my family, they have succeeded in turning everyone against me. Even my baby. that hurt more than anything they could have said or done. I feel stupid. I know its not my fault and I shouldnt care but Im hurt and its hard to let go. I dont understand anything about the world. but Im fighting to not interanalize the actions of other people. Its hard not to feel sad.