People don’t know how close you are to breaking. There’s only soo much a person could take before they finally say “f” it. really. Nice and Loudly “f” it. You know what?! Im not perfect. I make plans, I fail at them, I go back on my word. Yes I break “a many promises”. But we all do. Im done feeling guilty for things ive done, or might have said in the past. Im done catering to the feelings of everyone else and blocking my own. I’ve quite literally got to the point where im a flipping robot. Until I wake up one Wednesday morning with a sick feeling in my stomach, and the absolute feeling of hate, or frustration rather, towards anything breathing. This comes from built up anxiety and much needed vents that I bottled up inside… Bottled up soo tightly that when the cap pops open, I cant see. My pain blinds me for a while, from knowing whose with me and whose against me. A very true saying is that the people who you love the most are the ones who hurt you the most.. and it’s the truth. I have wore the cap of the oppressor and of the victim. Im tossing both and saying “f” it. NO MORE. THAT’S it.
Its 2 am and all I want to do is go the “f” to sleep.