Really all I wanted was to make him happy. Constantly bending over to please him. From day one I gave and gave and kept giving. No need to be thanked or expected the same amount of love. I just wanted to be treated with respect. That is all respect. I just wanted to give him love… Understood his situation, never asked for anything back. Put him a a priority, loved him unconditionally. I wanted to make sure he felt like he was loved. accepted his children as my own. Took care of them. Cleaned up after all of them. But he rejected my own kids. Disrespected me every chance he got. Hurt me emotionally constantly. Promised to change but nothing. Always got blamed for circumstances I couldn't help. As if I was in charge of fate. Expected to do it all even if I was sick or exhausted. I never asked for material things, I never asked for money, I never aske for anything but one thing only respect. If I asked to spend quality time it was a chore for him. A date too much work. So I settled, I settled for whenever he had 5 minutes. I settled to sit by his side while he ignored for tv or his phone. I am always settling. And I kept giving and giving… And I kept getting hurt. I am the puppet… As he said once “disposable”. Why do women allow themselves to be diminished to such level? As if we are not worth it all. I promised to love him and honor him and respect him. I've kept my word. It is not my fault I am nit perfect, or that I do not meet his requirements. Why amI to blame that I was once married before and had my beautiful children. He has three kids of his own. At least my kids were not made to protect a “hidden identity” because I had nothing to hide. And yet I placed no judgement on him for his hidden “secret”. I lover him still. But I can't continue this. It is damaging me more than helping me. I was once married but left that marriage because I wa married to someone who never existed, to many lies and I didn't deserve that, then why should I deserve this too? AmI really such a failure and worthless being that I can't get any respect?
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11/29/21
james114, , Anxiety, Depression, Teens, Anxiety, Infidelity, Obesity, Relationships, Weight Loss, 0
Well, today was both absolute shit and very positive. Let me explain. I’ve been dating this girl, let’s call...
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The coffee pot
newlife8, , Anxiety, Depression, Uncategorized, Wellness Tips, Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Personality Disorder, Psychosis, Sleep Disorders, 0
For lack of a better place to begin, I will start at what happened when my meds just stopped...
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Unanswered dreams
geminibrat36, , Depression, Anger, 0
They say that dreams are your minds way of telling you things, but I'm not sure what mines trying...
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Tales of impoverished woe
thedeadtree, , Depression, Bipolar, Career, Depression, Domestic Abuse, 0
It seems to me that there are a number ofthings in this world that just seem to be coneccted...
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committing tonight..
MikeyLovetteDude, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, OCD, Teens, Uncategorized, Wellness Tips, Domestic Abuse, 0
I’m committing tonight. Overdosing on my meds. Never waking up again. Never talking again. Never getting in trouble again....
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Alone
depressednstressed, , Depression, Career, Sleep Disorders, Weight Loss, 0
Today my mom has promised my little brother Zander that she would go to lunch with him. SHe has...
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Friendships/relationships
Steph_jn, , Depression, Anxiety, Questions, Relationships, Therapist, Weight Loss, 2
I never know what to do about friends and relationships. Is it normal for a friend to not text...
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I’m not mommy any more!?
prizma, , Depression, Child, Depression, Relationships, 2
I was haveing a normal day with my kids. They were acting up as usual and I jad to...
Thank You Alexx, it's hard for me to
Understand how can someone not see the hurt he causes to others. How can someone reject love? The more I tried giving love the more he would try to hurt me. As far as me finding someone else, I doubt it. I don't desire being lied to, or hurt, or going thru another pointless relationship. It will
Hurt so much to walk away, it will hurt more to see him move on
So quickly. Sadly that's what he does best. Hurting a woman then moving on to the next victim.