Well I am sitting here wondering where I went wrong. My bd (baby daddy) told me last night that he doesn't want me sexually anymore because I am so sad all the time. He reffered to me as an "emo clown". But he does not realize he is the one that makes me sad. He tells me what to do and when I can do it. He keeps trying to get me to give my nephew back to his mother because he does not want the responsibility. The only time he is around is when it is convenient for him, and when I want to see him he basically tells me no. I am not allowed to smoke cigarettes, I am not allowed to put my son in the bed with me at night when I feed him, I am not allowed to leave a light on in my room so I can check on him if I wake up. I am not allowed to go to a club without him, I am not allowed to hang out with the one person that used to mean everything to me. (my best friend). I am not allowed to go anywhere without him knowing where I am and who I am with, and I can't even get him to babysit for me long enough to have at least 5 minutes of me time. He gets ill when I ask him to wash our sons bottles and tells me that I basically don't do anything. Can't you see how this makes me sad? If I sing in front of him he makes fun of me. I used to be fun, outgoing, and loud. I used to have the time of my life and enjoy everyday I had. That was the old me. He has changed me into someone I don't even like. I don't listen to music much anymore and all I do is sit around and watch kids and wait for him to come home. I am not allowed to get my own place because he won't allow it. I can't be me anymore. And I want so bad to get that part back. I miss when I could dance in public and not give a crap. Now I just mope around looking like a good little housewife or whatever. I miss myself. And just thinking about how bad I want to feel alive and be happy again makes me cry. I keep telling myself someday I will be myself again and be truly happy. But when? That day can't be today….