Since my last blog there were 2 upsetting things that happened that happened. One was that my sis ended up not showing and texted me late that she would not be coming and that she would be coming Tuesday. Like i need that disturbance during the week. Then my washing machine died. It had gone out once once before and we fixed it but now idk if it would be worth even fixing. Always something I tell ya! Then I find something out that i’m not even sure if it’s true. My brother in law (hubby’s bro) always shows off about eveything in his life including his "happy lil family". Well is is always bugging us to look at my sis-in-laws (his wifes’s) website ot see what she’s been doing (sHe makes and sells things online). So we finally did and after we were done looking at what he wanted us to look at I was looking around he site and found a blog on a different site she has. Well it looks like she might be pregnant (i feel like and ass just having read her blog). I’m not sure if she was talking about herself but in other replys from ppl it seems like she is and we know nothing about it. If this is the case I can’t help but feel offended. THey had a Christening for their 3 yr old son before they moved up north and we new nothing about it and were not invited. They upset the crap out of me. Maybe they are planning to tell us when they come down for the holidays but idk. It seems that she may be 5 months cause there was mention of a sonogram. THe blog is not clear but anyways. If that is the case it would be nice to know to plan a babyshower or at least get her a gift and have a lil get together since we will all be together anyways. We don’t see them much since they moved from here (Souther California) to Northern California. SO it’s hard to do anything and since we are all strapped for cash taking trips to and from is not much of an option. ANother thing that got me upset about the whole prgnancy thing is the fact that I have been wanting another baby or 2. I have always wanted a big family but with the time and me not wanting to have a baby till i get healthier I am I can’t help but feeling left out. I see alot of aquaintences and other ppl I kno having babies and they always ask me when r u guys gonna have another kid. It hurts cause i do want another one so bad. My kids are now 14 and 6 and I don’t have to much time left. Before I never wanted to have a baby after 30, now I have given myself until 35 before the baby factory is closed for business indefinitley. I am going to be 32 so I don’t have much time. IDk if it will ever come to pass though. I guess only time will tell. It just makes me feel more motivated to get healthier and my weight down. I need to do it. I just can’t go on being over weight and misserable. Sigh. I guess we’ll see what happens……
-
Shadows in broad daylight
Azura_Mikio, , Depression, Anxiety, Grief, Parenting, 0
It feels as though time has stopped in this quiet house. Physical manifestations of the shackles that grip me...
-
Maybe I'm Manic…?
Proanamia, , Depression, Bipolar, Depression, Suicide, 1
Over the past few days(but especially yesterday)I experienced something that I've never felt before with my depression. All day,...
-
My Creative Writing Project
retrochick, , Depression, Depression, Forgiveness, Religion, 0
When I looked into his weary eyes I could feel the insufferable pain that rushed through the stranger’s...
-
The Ragamuffin Gospel
Gandolfication, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Religion, Spirituality, 0
In a former Blog, I wrote about the importance to me of believing in a universalist theological worldview. For...
-
Suicide Homework
HelpMeLove, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Questions, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Suicide, 2
Yesterday, my Health teacher assigned my class an assignment. We had to fill this list that had two columns....
-
End my pain
Cory666666, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Suicide, 1
Guys, I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Self harm doesn’t work anymore, it’s not worth it. I’ve...
-
Anxiety and being in love
Aliasshamir, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, 1
So, I am in love with a girl at work. She however told me I am too old and...
-
Long week Ahead
soullessbvblover, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Therapist, 1
so because mom is on 'relief of duty" she's going to be home for TEN days, unless,during her meeting...