so because mom is on 'relief of duty" she's going to be home for TEN days, unless,during her meeting with the district tuesdays says differently and maybe she will be back at her job this week.

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my anxiety was so bad today, still is. my skin aches,it feels like it's on fire but its cold, my heart feels like it's going to explode and that this feeling will never go away.

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mom took by bottle of xanax, since she's been using it so much (and i NEED it everday) a 3 moth supply is now gone expect for the 4 i managed to hide from her.

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we got it on 4/03/16 which means i won't be able to refill it until atleast 8/03/16 right? which if that's true i'm truly fucked.

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now after all she did today she's whiny and says she's sad and alone and wants me to be with her. i told her i wanted to finish my episode ofghost hunt. which i'm not lying but i'll be strecthing it out for a bit.

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one thing i CAN agree with dad, it's her way or they highway anything that isn't about her or doesn't support 'her' truth is dammed to burning hell it's self.

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THEN before she got all needy she started a fight with me, saying therapist aren't used to dealing with people who can't leave the house (wtf, i'm sure they have before. i'm not the first one to have this fear right now)

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at one point she said people like me are put somewhere. i got angry, when she started to make a conpenition out of it. what hit the last strike was when she said "well what if you had a daughter that was like you?"

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i walked off, yelling to my self she can go burn in fucking hell. I hate her, with a deep passion I didn't know i have,

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then like an hour later here she is all needy, and asking me to bring up bread and peanutbutter for her….she basically ate a whole medium pizza for dinner how could she still be hungry!?

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he has two legs go get it yourself! i really don't want to be around her, at all.

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me and my brother talked, we both want to get away. I told him, when i was done with school here and racked up enough money I'd be moving to the UK, only he'd be allowed to know exactly where I am, and maybe kim.

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but no one else, i would just fade out of their lives.

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he wants to go to texas, he wants to be a voice actor and work for FUNimation, and i hope he's able to do that.

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there are places all over florida that leaves a bitter tase in my soul, bitter memories. i just need to leave completely.

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anyway, good night or good morning depending are where you are? it's midnight over where so… yeah.

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well talk to you later i guess…

1 Comment
  1. lones73 4 years ago

    You could always move to aus, i'd take care of ya i'm apparently an awesome mum lol.If you ever need a chat call me <3

     

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