About 4 years ago I had to quit the best job I have ever had in my life.  You wouldn't think that would be many jobs, but believe me, it has.  I have been working since I was 14 years of age,  But back on track.  My second nursing job, I worked for a facility that takes care of mentally retarded individuals.  I found my passion and my drive with that job.  I worked there for about 3 1/2 years and quit because I moved to go live with the ex.  BUT now I am back home.  I recently got offered a job in training people to work with individuals with disabilities.  I thought it was going to be a dream job, but the more I thought about it, the more I freaked and I didn't know why until now.  It's not tha same thing.  Teaching someone and actually being the one who takes care of the individuals are two completely different jobs.  I have to be the caregiver.  It is my calling in life.  By the way, I didn't end up taking that job.  But now, as I was laying in bed and couldn't get my mind to turn off, I came to one of the biggest revelations that my life will probably hold.  I need to go back to that job. I have always kept in touch over the last few years with my employer, and they always are asking me to go back.  I have no idea why it has taken me this long to figure this out.  I emailed the human resource manager before I started to write this, and I am sure I will hear back from her tomorrow.  I may be starting over from scratch with my life, but this seems like the best idea I have ever had.  I belong with that company.  We always joked, that there were "lifers" and there were people who just passed through.  I am a lifer.  I went above and beyond my duties when I worked there before and you just know when a job or even a place in life is for you.  That is my place in life.  I am a caregiver first, an advocate second, and their family third.  These individuals even came to my wedding.  It's where my heart has always been and that is not going to change, so it only seems right. wooo I'm excited.  It seems like things may look up for me just yet.  A job=money=moving out of this hell hole=independence once again.  Sounds like a good thing to me 🙂