My first night on OCD Tribe, and my first post. So I guess I should write my story – or something to that effect.
I have been trying to deal with a myriad of social problems for awhile – and have been increasingly frustrated with my inability to deal with them, or change myself to fix them. One of my friends calls me 'OCD' a lot, but I wasn't sure exactly what that meant. I asked her, and she took it pretty serious – we looked up a few sites on OCD, and went through a few OCD symptom questionairs. And like the last piece in a puzzle, it fit. Perfectly. Undeniably. My whole life, my teachers have tried to label me, and my mom has always told me that I was perfectly normal, and that they were all full of s**t. I didn't know what ADD, or ADHD, or bi-polar were, and I didn't care, because mommy dearest told me I wasn't. Until she married a pervert, and when I started trying to get her to see the truth, all of a sudden I was mentally ill and not worth listening too – didn't know what I was talking about. Which led to my current aversion of anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. I'm not saying I'm a normal, well-adjusted person, but after years of abuse, who would/could be? But I'm not bi-polar or psycho either – I know people who are, and I am most definitely not. But I digress – I had finally found a good, fitting explanation for my problems, and my friends urged me to seek help, since all the web-sites suggested therapy to help manage the symptoms. But alas, I am but a poor college students, who can't afford to keep her $20 inhaler prescription up to date. So, long story not too short, here I am. Can an online community replace therapy? Maybe. I figure being able to talk to people who have similar problems and disadvantages to overcome is a pretty good start. I want to be able to have healthy relationships – I'm pretty sure I've never had one that qualifies, ever. I want to be able to do an art project in under 10 hours, and stop being SO picky about every last detail. But then again, isn't that what makes me such a good student? I guess I'm just confused. Holding my hand before, grasping for other hands in the dark, hoping for a life-line to pull me back to normalcy. Did I mention I'm also a writer? It's probably obvious by the book I've just written, but anyways. Here I am.