Hello, I am brand new to The Tribe and am looking to expand my support system.
I struggle with bouts of depression and severe anxiety, especially social anxiety. I used to be called “shy”, but apparently when you grow up and get into your 20s, you realize shyness is actually social anxiety and it isn’t so cute anymore when it becomes a barrier to making new friends in a new city.
I have also been feeling a sense of inadequacy for a long time, like I don’t deserve to be in grad school because I’m not that smart and have a bad memory. I sometimes feel that I am boring — and that I don’t have many friends because I am not worth getting to know. Cause I’m just not fun to be around. Cause I don’t have any interests. I have just been lacking interest in doing much lately, and that scares me.
I have these negative thoughts about myself often. Some days it keeps me in bed for most of the day, crying. Feeling sorry for myself. Other days I can manage and go about my life…but these thoughts are always nagging at the back of my mind.
Does anyone else feel this way? How do you cope?
I just want to be happy and confident.
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Hello 🙂 I struggle with major depression and have a very long and complicated backstory with it if you’d want to know more. First of all, you reaching out to expand your support system absolutely proves you’re smart. It shows strength, as you knew it could potentially benefit you. As for bad memory, school-wise taking hand-written notes works for me; however, if you ask me what I did last weekend, my mind would go blank. I’m hoping your description of “not being fun around” translates to calm, and that’s an amazing quality to have. For interests, I’m such an art freak, I’m obsessed with drawing, doodling, sketching, collaging, etc. I’m not always motivated to do that, however; but drawing funny cartoon faces makes me feel better sometimes. I’ve been looking for more activities to do, and for the fun of it I started recording myself singing. Now, I actually enjoy it a lot, I’m not ready to sing in front of people, but alone it’s nice. Taking walks with my dog or someone else makes me feel calm. Even taking walks alone can be nice. The weather where I am is so cold this time of the year though. Crisis text lines and hotlines are available 24/7 if you don’t currently have access to therapy, but I hope you’re receiving treatment and have supportive people in your life. I’m just making assumptions, sorry about that, I could be completely wrong. Could you gradually try to stretch every hour or two while lying down for extended periods of time in bed? I wish you the best of luck, I’ll happily reply if you need some support, I’m here for ya! 🙂
This may sound a little silly, but drinking tons of water boosts my mood. For confidence, I just started dressing how I want to and not caring what people think. Once you stop caring what other people think of you, you’ll feel so much better. Most of gossip stems from jealousy. When someone says they think I’m ugly? I say “I think that bitch is ugly too, you’re not special” (myself referring to me). It doesn’t have to use profanity, but combatting negativity with comedy can ease it up a little sometimes. It takes hard word to build up confidence, I’m still working on it, but my advice is to just be yourself. As for happiness, I’m still trying to figure out that part as well, but I’ll let you know if I come to any solutions. Stay safe please, you’ve got this !