He was supposed to pick me up at midnight, so i cancelled my friday night plans just to see him. But he had to cancell last minute because work made him end up working a double shift… *sigh*.

My boyfriend… well i guess that's what i am supposed to call him… i miss him. It really sucks, because i do not get to see him very often. His work schedual/sleep conflicts with my work schedual/sleep. Also the fact that he lives on the other side of the city does not help at all. I get to see him once a week, at the most. And we both understand the situation.

I just wish sometimes he would show that he cares a little more. Like i know he cares about me, or else he wouldn't be with me. And i think recently he is sort of getting better… but i don't know. We have been on and off for the past 3 months… we were also together last year for about 4-5 months but then we decided we shouldnt keep trying to be something that we can't at that certain timeframe.

Its just difficult, because he is the only boy that i have actually really LIKED in the past like 2 years. And its not that i do not have options, its just dont have the feelings for those people as i do for him. I dont understand why, but thats just how it is. I sometimes wish it wasn't like this, because then my life would be alot less complicated.

Most people do not like the fact that we are together, because we come from two different circle of friends, and he is 3 years older than me. He also has some complications… depression wise… if something happens he just kinda dissappears for a couple months. Doesn't come into contact with anyone… its pretty scary. And it really sucks, because he bearly ever wants to talk about it.

Drugs are also play a big factor in both of our lives. Which sometimes adds conflict.

All i can really do, is hope for the better<3

-lexi