I just cannot calm myself down. It is almost 5:00 in the morning and I am so worked up that I just can't cool it.
It's occurred to me that I am busting my ass in school and for what? A chance at maybe getting a good job? Maybe having a nice house? Maybe having a nice car? While my brother doesn't have a job and is already guaranteed a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a pool and some land, a personal cook (Mom), a maid (Mom again), a cleaning lady (…Mom…), and all the video games a person could ever want.
I don't know why I'm in school, I really don't. I keep hearing, "Well you'll have a better life than your brother." Would you really call working 40+ hours a week for 35 years better than being on a permanent lifelong vacation? For all I know, I could graduate and fall flat on my face. His life is all worked out. He doesn't have to pay car insurance and thanks to the stellar work of the Obama Administration, he doesn't even have to pay for health care for 7 more years. No rent, no groceries, will always have a home, I mean shit…I really got fucked over here, I really did.
Oh well, I'll probably have a heart attack one day anyways…
Increases in blood pressure related to stress can be dramatic. But once the stressor disappears, your blood pressure returns to normal. However, even temporary spikes in blood pressure — if they occur often enough — can damage your blood vessels, heart and kidneys in a way similar to long-term high blood pressure.
In addition, if you react to stress by smoking, drinking too much alcohol or eating unhealthy foods, you increase your risk of high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke.