My stomach hurts again. Logically I know that this would resolve a lot if I would eat only the food that I am supposed to eat and stop drinking crap like Mt. Dew. But I also know that this is not likely to happen either. So what do I do? I sit in my office during noon with my door shut and seriously debate taking a nap on the floor.
It sucks for things to hurt – it sucks when the people you love tell you that they are "tired of hearing about it." I honestly don't know if he said that because I don't do what I need to do to take care of it or what. But to me that honestly does not change anything. I don't talk about the stress of my job – the stress of bills I can't pay. The family I can't make happy.
When you don't know what to do next – what do you do? I guess that's kind of where I am. I have talked to my therapist about trying to do things for me – and not doing them because someone else told me to. So – to implement that – I guess I need to know what it is that I really want.
But it's hard to tell what I really want when at least part of every day involves stomach issues or a headache – or whatever else. When all you want to do is sleep – how do you decide what is important to you. Ok Sarah – sounds interesting – write about that. Not in the right mood today methinks.
December 10th I go see my GI doc – but I am a little scared that is going to turn into more of our debating and less of actually trying to solve a problem. But I have to try.
Just like I have to keep trying to talk to my husband. Either he will come through – or he won't. And if he doesn't I guess he can be the next in the line of people who couldn't step up when I got sick.