I wake up this morning in a perfectly good mood. My husband gets up and makes breakfast for everyone. Alas, I don't go upstairs and personally wake my brother up and let him know because he never gets up for breakfast and I didn't hear the TV on, so he comes down later (right after I had finished eating) and gets all annoyed that we didn't let him know breakfast was done. Whatever. Then my Mom starts bitching that my 8 year old niece has been complaining of a headache since 6 a.m… and she already gave her some Tylenol. Now she's up, I gave her some cereal and she's watching TV and she seems to be fine… but she's ALWAYS bitching about SOMETHING. My Mom, not my niece I mean. My brother comes in to say good morning to my niece and my Mom says something smart and my brother says, "You stay out of it!" And she ends up slamming her door. Whatever.

By THIS point in time my nerves are seriously shot. I take a hot bath to try and relax… Get up and Dad's awake. I bring my niece in to say good morning and am getting ready to sit next to him and he acts annoyed or SOMETHING and lays back down to go back to sleep and tells my niece to go back in and watch her OWN TV. This is all before 10:30 a.m. in my house and my nerves are already GONE.

I know, I should ignore everything, right? That's what my husband tells me. But this is a daily occurrence in this house. Every single day, with the exception of yesterday which was a RARE, calm, drama-free day, there is SOMETHING going on. And I can't help it. I'm a very receptive person. I do end up feeding off the energy of others. And if others are being dicks, I end up losing patience no matter how hard I try to IGNORE it. Ignoring negativity is futile in this house, at least for me. Personally, it takes a LOT of energy to block myself from absorbing the negativity around me, and that gets on my nerves BADLY… more energy than sometimes it's worth, because no matter how hard I TRY, trying to ignore the bullshit going on around me frays my nerves from all the effort. And I HATE that feeling and, yes, it IS all bullshit. It's not even worth it, I know. But still, I become short tempered, I can't deal with anything, even an attempt to laugh just ends up with me pissed off.

Oh well. I don't know what I can do about it. *sigh* Just deal with it, I guess. I don't know HOW in THIS house, but I guess I have no choice.

2 Comments
  1. snowdreamer 10 years ago

    There's no way you can ignore all that happening around you and if you could you'd be a better person than me!  Is it possible for you to make a routine of morning walks or go for a walk when things get like this and maybe some of them will get the message you don't want to be around them?  Whatever you do decide sweetie I hope it works cause  you'll lose your mind in that.  You don't see a therapist do you?

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  2. DarkHollywood 10 years ago

     I actually DID go for a walk!! I have 3 dogs, but they're REALLY big, so I went with my husband and went for a walk. Thanks for the idea. 🙂 

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