I don't know why this bothered me so much but I actually cried for a bit because of this. For people how have read my other blogs, you all know some of these things: 1. Money is tight 2. My boyfriend is an asshole 3. My boyfriend's mom is a Bitch (yes, with a capitol B)
Basically what happened was that I woke up, and already it wasn't a good morning, I had to wake up very early so that I could go to the temp agency I work at in order to see if I need to do more testing (why I couldn't just call and ask is beyond me, but they said I had to come into the office). I had told my boyfriend about this on Friday and before I even said how I was getting there he said "I'll drive you there. What time do you have to go?" I told him the time and he said ok. Saturday and Sunday I reminded him that he said he was going to take me, he said that he was still gonig to take me. Then this morning comes, alarm goes off I get ready and then wake him up. And of course, big surprise he says he's too tired to take me. I went to bed at around 1am, he was already knocked out cold byt the time I went to bed. So anyways, it didn't really bother me that he wasn't going to take me, I kind of expected him to not follow through with what he said (this is a habbit of his that he denies having), but what bothered me about it was that I didn't ask him to take me or anything, he volunteered to do it, and now he didn't want to, he had all weekend to take back what he said, but he didn't. So it really just bothered me a bit that he volunteered for something and then didn't follow through.
So I went to the agency, and let me just say now, this is how long it's been since I've had to actually go to the agency's office, I got lost twice. But I finally made it there, when I got there the lady behind the desk literally just looked in her computer and said "Hmm…typing, grammar…data entry…hmmm…do you think that any of your test scores have improved?" I told her no (if anything they've probably gone down), so she told me that I didn't need to retake any tests, but that I should update my resume. so I went back home.
When I got home the front door was locked, so I had to go through the back door. Then I hear my boyfriend's wonderful mother talking on her cellphone while doing laundry. Appearntly I'm a horrible woman because according to her I only do laundry once a month. So that comment pretty much put me over the edge with everything, everything that had been building up for probably the past 2 weeks just came tumbling down. Everything that I had just let brush off of my shoulder just all came back at once. So I went upstairs calmly and as soon as I got into the bedroom I started crying.
I do laundry once every 2 weeks. I have to pay to do my laundry and me and my boyfriend have enough clothes that we can do it once every 2 weeks and I get it done in 2 loads (1 load for colored clothes, 1 load for whites). She starts laundry Thrusday morning and literally finishes laundry Monday afternoon. And a fun fact about the house, when someone is doing laundry there's no hot water in the house. So excuse me if I am able to actually fill the washer properly and get my laundry done quickly. I think the main thing that upset me about what she said was because I can't say anything back, and I can't run. I can't just leave her house and go to my own, I live in her attic, and I can't confront her about it either. I just have to sit here and take it. And she started also talking about how useless I am since I don't clean.
I do clean, it's just that her adult son is such a slob that within 8 minutes he makes it look like a tornado comes through the apartment (I've actually timed it). Also, she should be the last one telling me how to clean and shit. One of the main reasons why I don't cook in her kitchen is because of how fucking dirty it is, she doesn't even clean her counters for christ sake, let alone her stove. Hell, she doesn't even do dishes, I've purposely not done dishes for an entire day, just to see if anyone would do them…no one did the dishes the entire day, she has a double sink and both sides were filled up with dirty dishes and the clean dishes for the night before still weren't put away. Honestly, I just about had a freaking neat-freak attack when I first came here.
I was raised that when you clean, you clean! The house isn't clean until everything smells like bleach and pinesol. I actually tried cleaning her house once, she did just about everything but kick me out. She then later complained that I didn't finish cleaning and that when I clean I take too slow. I clean house like this: Wake up in the morning, make a nice breakfast (a breakfast that you enjoy) then afterwards pick a room to sart in then take just about everything out of the room (chairs, appliances that can easily be plugged back in..etc.) then clean it from the floor to the ceiling, make sure there isn't even a stain left, then put everything back and move onto the next room. To me, cleaning takes a few hours, you can start at 9am and finish at 1pm (if you don't take a lunch then you can get done at 12:30pm).
I think another thing that just kind of set it up for everything to come crashing down today was last night. Last night I was taking care of all the kids (the kids she gets for foster care) and honestly, I don't think she really likes that now all of the kids are calling me mommie and when I come into the room they greet me and when I leave the room they follow me, but whatever. Last night the kid that she's try to adopt starting acting out. He's getting into his terrible two stage, and he's gotten into this habbit of hitting people. And when he doesn't get his way when a tantrum doesn't work then he starts screaming and hitting you until you give in. Last night he wanted me to go play with him but I was doing dishes. I told him to wait, so he started throwing a tantrum, I ignored his tantrum and continued doing dishes. So he started to scream and hit me. So I told him to stop, he didn't stop so when he went to hit me again I grabbed his hand and told him no. He then punches me in the nose. So I grabbed his other hand also and told him no. I let go of him and he went to hit me again so I moved out of the way, he fell forward and I caught him before he hit the ground. His wonderful mom sees it as me not only neglecting her poor baby but also teasing him and just being a horrible person.
I wasn't neglecting him, I just refused to give into his tantrums like everyone else in the house. I didn't know it was called neglection if you make a child wait. God forbid a child has to wait to get what they want. I see it kind of like a double edged sword, if I didn't do dishes and just watched the kids then when she was done doing whatever she'd complain that I didn't do anything. If I did dishes and watched the kids then she complains that I'm neglecting the kids and not watching them…it's called multi-tasking, I'm actually very good at it.
Before I end this blog and everything I just wanted to add something else, I HATE being ordered around and having to live by another person's rules, especially if I don't agree with them. She's very traditional, I get that, ok, good for her. But she's so old school that she sees anyone under her roof as her servant, doesn't matter who they are, but once you're under her roof then you're her servant and she's the slave driver. So basically, this is how she sees how the household is supposed to be: Everyone worships God (the Christian god) and all of the men work high paying manual labor jobs while the women stay home and take care of the kids and cook and clean house, except for me 🙂 Since I'm an American girl and a "crazy femenist" I get the privilege of working and bringing home as much money as the men AND cleaning and upkeeping the entire house, and taking care of kids. That is what she expects the house to be like. I completely disagree with that. Because in her perfect world, if the man doesn't have a job then the only thing he has to do is find another, he shouldn't have to do anything else.
This is how my life was before I came here: When I lived at home with my parents, whoever came home first cooked dinner, or started dinner until someone who can cook better gets home. As long as you're legally old enough to work then you're working, the kids do chores and clean the house and do laundry. I came from a home where both parents worked over 40 hours a week (my mom worked 12 hour days), so since the parents are working so hard then the kids get to keep up the house and all. When I lived just me and my boyfriend, whoever wasn't working was the one that got to keep up the house, if we're both working then whoever gets home first starts everything and then when the second person comes home they help.
But ya…I feel a bit better now after writing all of this, but jesus freaking christ I can't wait to get enough money saved up so that we can leave. I hate having to listen to her complain and complain and complain. She doesn't know what she wants, first she wants a big house because a small house is too small, then she wants a small apartment because the big house is too much money. She'd probably save money if she got a freaking medium sized house and didn't go shopping for stupid shit once a week and giving her younger kids everything under the sun that they want. Example: She has an entire room full of toys, it looks like a giant room full of clutter where you can barely move around (and it's a big room), but it's all toys. And guess what? They rarely even bring the toys out to play with, all of the foster kids she gets, they see that room and they think they've gone to heaven, but no one ever plays with the toys because "they're old toys", I'm 20 and when I first saw that room my face lit up, there's no such thing as an old toy, there's a toy and something that looks like it might have been a toy at one time but is now broken into so many pieces that it has to be thrown away.