I still am not able to allow myself to deal with what information I was told about my situation, why bother anyway, it won't change anything, there will be no help, no justice, no repair of the situation, just suck it up and get over it, let them all get away with it, almost killing me, stealing from meblah, blah,blah, no point even mentioning it. It makes not one bit of difference how I feel about it, none. So how do I move forward with nothing, when all I want to do is let go. I do not want to rebuild my world from nothing and haven't been able to anyway for a year and ahalf.. meanwhile they've moved on, him with some other victim, them with my property, me left to rebuild my whole entire life from nothing, no car, no friends, no income, no checking account, no furniture, no electricity in my part of the house, nothing. I can't even get angry anymore, any emotion I have about this is unimportant and a waste of time, they all got together and figured out a way to make it legal, stealing, etc. Let's see how much longer I sit here with nothing and no one to help me, trapped, alone with my thoughts, how much longer before I snap and there will be no one to save me, there isn't now. I'm even past desperation but I sure it will hit again, then what? How much longer will I sit here , with not one cent to my name. I can't even take care of my children, my daughter didn't come here because i have nothing to offer her in the way of finical help , those were her words.I'm ready to do something and I'm not sure what it is. I wish I were at the bottom of the river, not to be found. I am empty now, not even human, just a piece of needy trash that no one wants anymore.
I Want To Disconnect
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Vanity
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Not in a while…
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Emotional AND physical pain
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It's too hot and I'm too tired again.
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My best friend is a boy…
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Second best….
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When i look in the mirror
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Thank You Jen. I'm still having problems with responding to everything. I can't think what to say here,but I've read your comments and your personal message you sent me. I think alot of you taking time with me as I no you are struggling as well. If I weren't so numb possible I could share with you, I guess I'm in some sort of daze, I truley don't no what this is. Tomorrow will be even worse as my councelor is coming if she can to finish telling me about what was said to her about my situation. I am afraid. Enough about me how are you doing? Have you settled onto a routine since you've arrived back home? I hope your weather is better than ours, its going to rain and be stormy tomorrow, yuck. Anyhow, enogh of my rambling. Thank You so much, and be kind to yourself.