I get so bored with life that my dreams are actually something to be excited for. I wish there was something, anything, amazing, or purposeful I could say, but that is all. I love to dream. Scary dreams keep me in check. Happy dreams make the days seem less bad. Then there are the dreams that give me the feeling of learning something. Normal life is so boring. Revelations do not come from normal day events. My revelations come from my dreams. What a pathetic existence. I'm nothing more than a slug. I will live and someday die like a slug. I might leave a film thick enough to be observed for a while after my death but eventually it will deteriorate just as the memories others have reserved in their minds of me. As I die everything I've ever known or accomplished will die around me. Time has no end… It does not halt at the sign of suffering. It has no mind to patch up the misery around the world before moving on. This sounds so depressing, and I know it. This is my mind. Come inside. Enjoy the ride…. lol. I wonder why I'm so depressed. I'mphysiologicallyincapable of seeing the "silver lining". My heart has no love. Only passion. I thought that was a good thing… passion. It is deadly. It is poisonous. I feel my mind deteriorating… I feel my body crumbling. I amattunedto my inevitable demise. What a talent…. lol. Good thing I have asense of humor. Dry humor…. Without it I would have a bullet in my brain by now. No doubt. |
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The End of A Hope
sadviolinist, , Depression, Adoption, Child, Psychosis, Therapist, Weight Loss, 2
So, this is going to be a very personal blog. My husband would shoot me if he read this,...
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Too accustomed to “Getting My Sick Off…”
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I have a terrible head cold that came on very quickly. It’s been a strange day. I feel pretty...
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Happy new year – a little late
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Sorry I haven’t been on for awhile. Work picked up a little bit so I’ve been busier with that. ...
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Grab Bag?
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Things have been… hectic and somewhat down-making lately. I got my initial denial for Disability about two weeks ago...
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Annnnd I mess up again!
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So things are kinda messed up right now. After the new guy (NG) disappeared, I did some digging and...
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None
ms11, , Depression, Career, Relationships, 0
My sister and I used to be really close, then it seems like when she got a boyfriend and...
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My Wonderland?
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I move. TOMMOROW. I just learned I was this MORNING. Plus, trying to contact my bio father whom I...
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Today is a bit better
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Today I got up… wanting it to be a better day. Not a GREAT day but a better one....