I have a terrible head cold that came on very quickly.  It’s been a strange day.  I feel pretty worn down, and beat up.  My Emenstrual cycle is kicking my ass, now this head cold-thing (probably a sinus/ear infection), my feet are blistered, and I feel generally tired and sh*tty.  Elliot Smith isn’t exactly comforting, but he’s usually apt and I dig listening to him more than most sad bastard musicians (he was the king of that genre). 

"I’m in love

with the world through the eyes of a girl
Who’s still around the morning after
We broke up a month ago, and I grew up – I didn’t know
I’d be around, the morning after"

I talked to Charlie a bit today, in passing, about gambling, and why he likes it so much.  I’ve always avoided it based on the assumption that I would really dig it.  Charlie said, "there’s nothing better than free money, that you know you don’t deserve."  I laughed.

"Its always been wait and see
A happy day, and then you pay
And, feel like shit, the morning after
But, now, I feel changed around, and instead falling down,
I’m standing up, the morning after
Situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later
And I could be another fool or an exception to the rule
You tell me, the morning after"

Anna had me laughing my ass off, earlier, even though I felt that odd sort of detachment, and I eventually began to feel sick.  At one point Anna said, "Sarah Palin has little elves inside her head."  I think there was a context to this statement, but I can’t be sure.  Anna wants to take me to bondage bingo, next week.  There’s no bondage play at the bingo – the prizes are bondage play things, and such.  I said I would go.  🙂

"Crooked spin can’t come to rest
I’m damaged bad at best
She’ll decide what she wants
I’ll probably be the last to know
No one says until it shows, and you see how it is
They want you or they don’t

Say yes

I’m in love with the world, through the eyes of a girl
Who’s still around the morning after." ("Say Yes," Elliot Smith)

I feel like hell.  Hoping to talk to Ace tonight – that always helps me get through a tough time.  More good news – I started decreasing the methadone (3 mg a week) – exciting stuff.

1 Comment
  1. Somecure 13 years ago

    Hi Kit,

    I hate colds, especially durring the summer months.  Hope it clears up quickly.  Drink you fluids (water is best).

    I am addicted to gambling, hence why I quit.  I have no control.  One night I was up over $6,000 (thats right six thousand) playin black jack.  By noon the next day I had lost it all back.  I always loose and I am glad for it.  It”s the "Action" that people get addicted to, it”s a major adrenaline rush.  Hope Charlie has better luck and better control than I did.

    3mg of methadone…not sure how much that is compared to what you were on???  Praying you will someday be completely free of the methadone as well.  No hurry though, Just be proud of your progress so far.

    I didn”t need "context" to laugh at your friends joke about Sarah Palin.  There is little doubt in my mind she definitely has "little elves" roamming around in her head.  Don”t let me start on politics with you…I was sickened in recent years over certain political events.  Yikes, I”m already starting.

    Praying for you girlfriend.  Hope Ace and you can get together later.

    Peace, Joy, and Love to You Kit,

    Don

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