You would think that everyone is like has somehow some where experienced life in a good way at some time in their lives. I recently ended my 5 year relationship with my ex and ive been slowly learning how to be on my own. Its going on week 2.

The purpose of me writing this is to explain how truly disrespected I was. I cant believe i thought I was fitting for love. Today was a good idea. All I ever worried about was if he wad happy i made it a mission to make him smile and couldnt even prevent. The lack of effort he could produce. It was extremely irritating how he turned it around and made it seem like i was the one broken.

Then i went out with a old flame but made the expectation clear im not looking for a relationship rn. Although through out the day I felt so nervous and It was a feeling that was new. He was kind and funny. Even though alot of the time I sounded like an ass. He still accepted it. The way he watched out for me all day not only that but suggested things to be.  That positive energy he gave off was so comforting. I knew he was moving slow. And I felt like I did to the dispense of kissing him. Holding his hand. But i also need to focus on me.

I learned i wasnt ask for much when it came to all the things I wanted. I was asking someone who wouldnt understand.

This made me realize something wasnt right.