Okay, so I’m a newbie. I am married with a one year old and a six year old step daughter. I am a couch potato. LOL. I just need some people to talk to, and vent to, because I have no one else. I have tried numerous times talking to God, but honestly it is more depressing when you talk to someone who never seems to talk back. If you’re like me, you probably don’t like reading super long forums about someone else’s problems, so for those of you who will make it through, I will try to make this as short as possible. I am severely depressed. I have anxiety and PTSD from an ex-boyfriend. My depression is what’s getting the best of me at this moment. I have been having a lot of anger and resentment towards my step daughter (for what reason I have no idea). Yesterday, it came to blows with her father as I knew it would for me treating her like I do. I was fighting off the urge to just kill myself and solve everyone’s problems. But I could never do that. Even though I could never do that, for some reason it always almost physically hurts to try to resist that urge. Anyways. I just feel like such a failure. I keep asking why I have to be this way. Why does my brain think the things it does. Why can’t anything fix me. I’ve tried numerous medications and they all seem to not help if not make me worse. It seems like it just makes me hold in everything until I just explode and make everyone mad. I have no friends. Like literally none. I just want to be happy. Why does that seem so impossible? Someone….. anyone….. please. Please just talk to me. Tell me everything will be okay. Because as of right now… Nothing seems okay. I feel like this one big problem and there’s no way to solve me. I’m sinking down as fast as an anchor right now. Someone please bring me back up to the surface.