I lived a life that was crazy and drama filled when I was drinking. I was always at a bar or a party, surrounded by people that were also drinking. We looked like a herd of cattle running toward a trough, but the trough was full of Corona. Conversation was just a side activity while we focused on our main goal of getting drunk. The more beer we had, the better the conversations got. By 2am, some of our friends would drive away to their respective homes while others would pass out on the couch and in any room they could find available. Inevitably, there would be a stray pair of shoes, socks and occasionally a shirt laying outside for someone to claim the next day.

As we all woke up the next morning, you could see that look in everyone’s eyes searching for a solid memory of what happened the night before. They would wipe the sleepiness away and say “Hey. Who’s going to Taco Bell? You fly, I’ll buy”, sweeping the obvious under the rug. We did this for years.

Today, I found myself reminiscing about the “good ole’ days”. I started romanticizing my life as an active alcoholic. What a dangerous thought! I stopped for a second and reality hit me. If you review what I just wrote, it sounds like insanity. Why would anyone want to do what I used to do? Not only is it a lie to say we were just being social and having fun, it was dangerous to our health and the well being of others. We were destroying our bodies and our minds. We were stunting our own growth. We actually drove a car while heavily intoxicated putting others at risk. This is what we called “having fun” and so many others still do.

The same people I used to hang out with continue this cycle. Will it stop when they get a DUI? Will it stop when they finally kill someone on their way home? Will it only stop because they kill themselves in an accident or eventually die of a drinking related illness? Alcohol related incidents in the U.S. kill more people than AIDS, TB and Violence combined according to the World Health Organization. This is insanity wrapped up in a box with a pretty bow on top presented to us as “being social”.

My life is so much different now. It’s very peaceful. I’m not yet used to that peaceful state of mind. Sometimes I tend to isolate myself from others, so sometimes life can get quite boring. My daily tasks include working, taking the dog for a walk, meditating, watching television, landscaping, cooking and reading. Most of the time, I really enjoy these things. Other times, it’s like watching water boil. Little by little, I find more friends in recovery or people that don’t drink. When I do hang out with these people, I have a great time! It’s all about reaching out to those people and spending time with them. Isolation is our enemy!

I try to keep in mind the insane nature of my actions before I began recovery. Each day, I am learning to accept and appreciate my peaceful nature. Anything outside of that is caused by our environment. I will not let my environment rule me. I now choose to stay grounded in my true nature.

Christina C. – Certified Life Coach and Recovery Alcoholic
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