I absoultely HATE insensitive people. I know i drive my family crazy, but still, a little support would be nice. It's mainly my father. Upsets me so much!!!
For example…last night i was at their house in the kitchen, and my cleaning really bothers them. Mostly because I always want them to wash their hands after being in public, after going to the bathroom, after touching anything that has been in public ( ie, bags, drink containers, food packages, anything like that.) Okay, I get it they hate it, but I can't stop my worries and fears over catching anything.
Anyway, last night I was in their kitchen, my dad tried to touch me with him feet (i guess just to torture me because i absoultely can't stand feet!) He said "if I were your husband I wouldn't come back home to you because of all of this" (my husband is out of the country right now, he's not sure when he'll be home yet) So I said.."Well I'm glad my husband isn't like you then." and he said "well you see he hasnt come back, don't you" and that did it. I was crushed, how could he say that! How insensitive! I really hate that I am the way I am, but I still can't stop thinking the way I do, and doing the things I do. I've tried, I tell myself, just stop it!! Theres no need for it!! But it never works out for long.
So I went home, was trying to put my son to sleep, and I just couldn't stop myself from crying. It hurt me soo much what he said..
Sometimes I wish I could just be forever in a field of daisies. No cell phones, computers, or tv's. No contact with anyone. Just sitting, no need to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom. No fears, or impulses, no obsessions. Just me…nature. The wind blowing, the bees buzzing, the clouds passing over head…