Words don?t seem to flow like they used to.
They are trapped in my chest like the air I can no longer exhale.
The pain seems so ever recon forting it scares me I can no longer express feelings or emotions im cold and feel cold all around.
The doubts isolate me I feel alone but don?t want the friendly presence of the music man.
The music sheet is blank it only contains the notes once played and they no longer express the fullness of a lifetime, like me they lost track of time and space they flow with no meaning or purpose.
What is my purpose? Am I meant to have one? when we are children we are brain washed we are told that happiness is found in a lovely house with children playing and a husband that you have to love no matter what, and we find out when we are older that it was what our mothers and our grandmother were told by their own ancestors and that vicious cycle continues and with that many generations of women are miserable and never found their own happiness and fullness they never found their own purpose their own souls. By their prospects I should be the happiest person alive with a 2 room flat I can still afford 2 cats 2 fishes dog and a lovely baby girl that one day will or will not aspire to be like her mommy. What?s missing in my life? The clock shows the second?s minutes and hours the haunting tic tack that warns me that time does not wait, decisions have to be made. I feel tired worn out the mind the mind does not give in it never does I wait and hope the music man makes the decision for me but he doesn?t his like me with no propose he wonder in this life like his notes. Its late my mind tells me I must rest, but my soul is agitated I wish I could say goodbye and let her go free.