Ciao, everyone. My name is Bree, I am a female, bisexual/Gay, suffer from anxiety, suspected eating disorder and depression and I come from a ‘broken’ family. Here, let me break everything down for you.
I am a born female. I like to wear ‘guy’ clothing but I don’t identify as one.
Bisexual/Gay. Now, this confuses some people so let me explain. I am into girls, a lot, but I am also into guys. I prefer girls over guys and most of the time I will just say I am gay. If I had to give a percentage it would be; Females 95%, Males 5%. Hope that cleared everything up for y’all.
I have anxiety. I experience at least one panic attack a fortnight, even if it is only a small one. The bigger ones can get really bad, causing me to have to leave class to calm down. From my anxiety I get asthma. You might need this explained as well… If I get winded or anything like that, I lose my breath like anyone else. The only difference, I freak out, making myself think I can’t get the air back, therefore closing my throat and sending me into a panicked state, much like an asthma attack.
Now this one, a lot of my friends think I have an eating disorder and depression. Yeah, sometimes I think they are right about the depression. My thoughts as those of a depressed person, but I seem to have my ‘good’ and ‘bad’ days with it, which leads me to think I don’t have depression. Or maybe I do and I am just confusing it with my anxiety. I don’t know. Anyway, back to the eating disorder. My friends think that I have an eating disorder because I hardly ever eat. My family, well, they are always making sure I eat and drink because if I’m not made to, I won’t. It’s not that I am avoiding food, it’s just I don’t know when I am hungry, and I don’t ever really feel hungry. I can’t eat too much and the site of most meats make me feel sick, let alone actually eating it which, unfortunately, I have to do. Minus stake though, my step-mum gave up on getting me to eat that. I can’t eat three full meals a day, struggling to eat dinner if I ate lunch. At school, my best friend will make me at least eat something small, but other than that I skip lunch most days. I don’t really know all too much about eating disorders, I could have one I don’t know. If anyone reading this knows an eating disorder that I just described, please tell me so I can do some research on it.
Lastly, ‘broken’ family. My first thing to say on the topic, I HATE the term ‘broken’ family. Next, at the moment I am living with my paternal brother- James, step-mum- Katie, Dad- Micheal and dog- Chloe, with a new addition on its way, in roughly a weeks time.
From the second I was born to the age of seven or eight, I have only a VERY small amount of memories. I was told by my step-mum that my brain blocked/disregarded most of my memories as a coping mechanism. From those ages I was either living with my Dad and Mum, just my Dad or both my Mum and Nan.
From seven/eight upwards I came to live with my Dad and Step-mum, who I have lived with since. I am currently 13 years old, still missing the memories of my childhood. I don’t remember too much before year six either, which is really annoying and saddening.
So, with the family, I will tell you, everyone, I know/remember.
Mum’s side:
Mum: Casey.
Nan: Bron
Pop (Kinda; too hard to explain now, maybe later): Trevor
Uncle (Same as above): Ryan
Dad’s side:
Dad: Michêal
Dad’s foster brother: Luke
So that’s the basic introduction to my life… This is my first time every doing this so please don’t judge me.