…This past week has been a disaster..I've about had it with just about everything&everybody. What's so crazy is that I try and verbally talk somebody..perhapswith my cousin; just to get an outside point of view, she looks at me as if I am insane to tolerate whats happening in my life.

Scenario….As mentioned before, my dad has been staying with me for the past few months; I re-organized my life to fit his needs bc he's getting old, heck I don't even work partially bc of him. My bro, is the thief that I had to put out a few weeks ago. But since I did put him out bc of him stealing, the old man is making me feel bad in an awkward way. Basiclly saying I shud let em back in. I said No. ..Well last monday, I noticed he was on my couch before I took my kids to school..actually I had an MH evaluation that day as well..but I'm assuming my dad let em in. After returning from my appt, I rushed upstairs and got online…a lil later my kids came home from school. Well, one of my daughters noticed something was missing from her room..I checked it out, then went downstairs and asked my dad if someone was here….before I could ask..I saw the thief. I grew so upset inside but calmly asked the thief if he saw my daughters things…of course he says yes, and I went ballistic.

See what he took from my daughter, he would have to be in knee deep of her personal belongings..which he had no permission to be near. So we argued while my dad was there..I told him to leave the house and he grew upset. Next thing I know, I'm at my back door and while he tries to slam it…my hand is caught in the door!! I broke two fingers and needed 13 stitches in both fingers. I was so mad it was the first time my daughters seen me cry.

Anyway..I had to let this off my chest becuz, since this has happened….the old man thinks its a laughing matter..he don't get what his son is doing is wrong..and he himself is wrong to not take this seriously. I have a whole new perspective on my dad..before I saw him as my hero, but now I don't want to live in this "arrangement" anymore. He allows his nieces to talk abt me whn they come by to see him, but he laughs along bc he enjoys the company of them…I wish I was adopted sumtime, but then again it's worse your own blood can be so decietful…..

Sorry about this rant…Its just gets worse. So i don't know If it's me or is it that other's around me just have no respect for me and see me as a nobody?? I hate feeling like this..I'm not in the mood for the holidays…and with my hand like this life is a lil more complicated. I can't even brush my teeth and my dad laughs about it……So is it just me or do I have the right to feel hurt about it??