I feel like I am alone in this confusing world, and maybe I am. I’m looking for some fulfillment — anyone or anything. I don’t even think I make sense half of the time, I just feel like I’m all in this alone and I can’t be the only one in this questionable state about everything..
I have friends but our conversations are so surface level and meaningless that I find myself zoning in and out of topics. People don’t give a rats ass what I have to say or what I think. I feel like like I’m bustling through life at an unimaginably fast pace, all by my lonesome and sometimes I think I’m destined to be alone and feel this way for the majority of my life. I’m sorry if this gets whoever down I just needed somewhere to let out my feelings.
This all feels extremely self-pitying which is not my intent at all. I just would like to feel something again. I feel empty and hollow. I walk around day to day always questioning why I’m doing the things I’m doing that are causing me zero happiness or fulfillment, but I’m only turning 18 next month so its hard to be viewed as serious whenever I actually want to discuss certain topics that have been weighing heavy on me. Many people I’ve met that are my age, I just don’t vibe with. Many adults are judgmental and believe they have the youth already figured out. Sometimes I feel like an extra in a movie. Sometimes, I feel like my role in life is to be the perfect extra in the back that isn’t really seen or heard. I feel like everything I do is insignificant, unimportant, or just pointless. I am not a pessimist (this blog says otherwise) but I just would like to reiterate that I just feel alone and its been tougher on me than usual.