Yesterday was hump day and I had to do the night shift, well when I was home I was watching TV with Cleo(my cat) and all of a sudden I change the channel and there is an advertisement for Attacking Anxiety and Depression.
now what was so interesting about it is that when they were talking about treatment they referred to the program as a eye opener, went as fare to say that they have learned that they are victimizing them self’s and that is why they have anxiety and depression. Now I couldn’t help but to naturally wonder AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?
And of course with any one coping with depression should know we do blame ourselves a lot for the things that go wrong well at least I do, so in asking myself this question it made me anxious and all I wanted to do was change the channel.  
To be told YOUR DOING THIS TO YOUR SELF! It’s a big slap in the face, there was all these people who were telling their stories but they kept repeating that they no longer have anxiety and depression due to this program(what the hell does that mean?) I was confused still am by having someone tells you your feelings are inadequate because it’s all in your head and there isn’t anything to worry or wonder about because you are making a victim out of yourself. They were giving out free DVDS but for some reason I stayed away from it I didn’t believe someone can live depression free or anxiety free after suffering from it for a long time. I believe you can cope with it to the point where it is not consuming your life but to be rid of it for good how do you do that? This I guess played a big part of my feedback today its crazy how someone’s approach  can take me to a place where I really don’t want to be has my anxiety level high today. I don’t have an explanation for it but I do know that it’s almost over the week will be up and I will have one day off I need to do something relaxing to calm my nerves. This week has been calm for me dust far and  my stress level a 6 mild for me I’m usually a 10 at all times so I have contained my composure and coped with my stress now let’s see if I get thru tomorrow and the weekend.
Fingers crossed
 
1 Comment
  1. iarose 12 years ago

    Thank you so much for sharing this!  In my opinion, you are not doing this to yourself.  Depression is like diabetes.  You don't ask to get it, sometimes it just happens.  Yes we receive tools along the way to try and help us cope with the depression and anxiety but ofen the tools don't work for every situation.  I pray for you to get through this and to know that you are not alone.

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