Also when I say that I'm trying to "keep up with my two cats." This is why…they;re PEEING. When I first adopeted htem I was having panic attacks that they were going to start peeing all over the place bc I had a cat who did that and she ended up having to spend the last 10 years of her life in my parent's laundry rm which she destroyed by peeing all over every square inch of it…I've seen what happens to cats who have innoproriate urination problems…its either they get put to sleep or they have the life of my one cat who we eventually had to put to sleep after her living in the laundry rm in destroying it for 10 years…which to me sounded more cruel, but no one wanted to put her to sleep…my cats are still young, I just got them fixed (or Eric got them fixed) and since the surgery which was a few days ago, they've been peeing and shitting everywhere. I've been trying to clean things up before ERic could see, but its making me insane…cat piss is one of the most vile, strong, oders EVER and you can't get that smell out. Even before the surgery, they were peeing a bit because the cat who I had at my parent's house had peed on a lot of my books and boxes of art supplies without me knowing..so then the kittens smelled it, (I didn;t somehow) and then I go to unpack them and there's piss everywhere….the amount of guilt I feel right now is so intense because I'm destroying Eric's house, out OUR new house by not getting rid of these kittens, but what am I going to do? Put them to sleep? I bottle fed these kittens, they follow me around and love me, and I love them, I don't know what to do…and that's one of the reasons why my Anxiety level is going throught the roof.  I feel like I'm ruining ERic's life with my dysfunctional family, my OCD, my uselessness as a provider, and now my f'ing kittens who are peeing all over the new house….I feel like just a plague i his life