I have a very complicated numerology that has developed into a full-blown superstition over the years. I count up numbers, especially three-digit numbers (ie, 143 = 1+4+3 = 8) into single digits, and I assign religious value to each single-digit number. I also have "good" and "bad" numbers. I know how insane and irrational it is, but that doesn\’t stop it from consuming my time and energy. My phobia of the number 5 in particular has caused me an excess of distress and pain.
1 is a bad number because it\’s lonely. It stands for Man.
2 is a bad number because it\’s weak. It stands for Woman.
3 is a good number. It is sacred and stands for the Norns (Fates).
4 is a neutral number. It stands for Frigge.
5 is a very very bad number. It stands for Loki. I truly have a phobia of the number five and I do crazy things to avoid this number. For instance, I cannot have listened to a song in iTunes any number of times that ends in 5. I will listen to a song that ends in 4 twice to "skip over" the 5.
6 is a neutral number. It stands for Hod because it comes between Loki and Baldur.
7 is a very good number. It is sacred and stands for Baldur.
8 is a neutral number. It stands for Thor.
9 is a good number, and sacred, but very powerful. It stands for Odin.
Again, I know how kooky and irrational this all is. I wish I didn\’t think like this, it goes against my empiricism and my desire for less anxiety in my life. But this is how my mind works. I have tried to break free of my numerology and it has always failed due to the massive anxiety produced by the number 5. I don\’t know why I like odds more than evens (except 5) or why I hate 5 so much. I just do. It\’s just a bizarre quirk.