It's been so long since I've been on here. I don't know I look at the bookmark when I'm troubled and wonder what it will really do for me. But here I am. I leave in one day to embark on a journey to get a job. Its about six hours away from where I live but I've applied all over and nobody wants me I think it's because I didn't graduate or get my GED. Self doubt and anxiety has set in. After all the rejection I have gotten applying to all these jobs. I'm available any time I swear they want to hire someone complicated. It's also my first job I'm looking for. I've gotten sick twice throwing up in the past three weeks. The first time I overdosed on tums. Yes you heard that right. I was having heartburn so I just knocked it back probably took 7-8. Never do it. I thought I was dying. Then yesterday I used a benzoyl peroxide acne junk even though I know my sisters allergic. I am now looking like a lobster and spent all yesterday in a hazey stomach flu throwing up weak state. Those states just make you feel wonderful on top of all the anxiety I was already feeling. I am wondering if I should take it as a sign not to go. I would be moving away by myself for a summer. But I want it so bad. Lifes about the choices you make so someone smart said but what if I make the wrong one. But I want it so bad! Is it the right time? My OCD is the worst its ever been but I'm 19. I feel like I can't rely on my parents anymore. My mom is never here. I know it will only get worse the longer I stay the more hopeless and useless my life appears. I think I'm going to do it though. Fuck OCD, anxiety, depression, self doubt, my pitty party I want to do it.
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OCD/Allegory/Plato
Garp, , OCD, Anger, OCD, Sleep Disorders, 2
I was thinking the other day as I was out hiking with my dogabout the correlations between Plato's allegory...
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Light switches
AlexPKeaton, , OCD, Suicide, 3
Do you know in a house where several different lightswitches control one lightbulb? A single one can turn the...
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Can OCD spring up during stressful times?
wander03lust, , OCD, Anxiety, Child, Medication, OCD, Relationships, Stress, Therapy, 2
Hi everyone, I've been diagnosed for OCD for about 4 years now and am currently finishing my last year...
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COVID contamination OCD
Abby-Meiyum, , OCD, 0
A: I started looking back, wondering if I had washed my hands long enough…and then wondering if i had...
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Sleepy all the time
xray81, , OCD, OCD, 2
I feel drained. Like someone stole all my energy… And I have not done many rituals lately. I just...
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I am Detritus
OscarCDumas, , OCD, ADHD, Anxiety, Career, Depression, OCD, Psychosis, Questions, Therapy, 5
First Entry I am detritus. That is the simple, yet potent label that I have assumed this morning. I...
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A long process
freakofnature, , OCD, Anxiety, Child, Grief, OCD, Psychosis, Relationships, Religion, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, 0
Some of you have seen me talk about this book before. I never stopped working on it. How many...
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Back down the rabbit hole
valkyriedoom, , OCD, Anxiety, OCD, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 1
So after two very good days, today is turning out to be a really bad one. I woke up...
You should do it! Look at it as an adventure! I know most of the times in the past when I was most afraid to make a change, it turned out to be some of the best times I've ever had! I say go for it!