Today my mom called for the first time since she disowned me. All she wanted to tell me was she saw a thing about a new depression treatment involving a surgery where they put needles in your brain. When I said I wasn't interested we had another fight. I feel so alone. Even after all of that I pulled myself together and tried to go look for work. I desparately need a job. I tried at 11 places today 8 of them wouldn't even give me an app and basically said I wasn't what they were looking for. How would they know they didn't even do anything but look at me. I am normally goth (no tatoos and I took my piercings out too look for work) but i tried my best to look normal even put on bluejeans and a regular t-shirt and still nothing. My therapist even tried to find me work on a farm but the farmer said he cant afford to pay someone else but i can volunteer if i like but i still need money and the closer i come to running out the more desparate i get to find work but it seems like noone wants me. I have tried for 3 years to find work the closest i have gotten is the odd holiday job thats gone January 1. I am so alone and isolated I was actually excited to maybe get a job and have a chance to meet some new people. My biggest problem is im depressed because I'm lonely and i have trouble doing anything about being lonely because im depressed its a circle i cant seem to get out of. A woman at the bank this morning described me as "the most cheerful person to ever walk into her office with a complaint" so i know i can interact normally its just painful for me at first but i know if given a chance i could be a great employee but no one seems to be willing to give me a shot. If you have read this far bless you from the bottom of my heart for caring and if you take nothing from this let it be this just because someone is a bit different doesn't mean that they are not a delightful individual in need of a chance just like you or anyone else.
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I CAN BE SO STUPID
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 0
God, I make myself sick, sometimes. I try not to be needy, and I feel like I have taken...
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Just Reflecting
beachgirl20, , Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Sleep Disorders, 1
Haven’t been on in a while, but I’ve been wanting to reach out… I feel tired. No let me...
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O Death Where is Thy Spatula?
SpaceMonkey, , Depression, Anxiety, 0
So I wanted to put my mood as "quite content" but the mood thing isn’t cool enough to have...
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Hiccups
MForeverChained, , Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
I have the hiccups right now and they are annoying. They need to go away! Anyways, Andrew (my mother's...
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Stuck in a Dead-End Job
hopelessdreamer81, , Depression, Career, Depression, Religion, 2
I’ve done some pretty amazing things. Pretty amazing things for someone who’s completely normal. Even more remarkable for someone...
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Day 10
Cautrell05, , Depression, 0
wow day 10 already, today the concept I decided to talk about was LOVE. You see we need love...
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Need Someone?
GalaxyStorm04, , Depression, Depression, 0
Hey everyone, I recently joined this group and I wanted to let everyone know that I am here for...
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These Musings May Be Offensive To Some Audiences
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Questions, Religion, 1
Smoking… just half-watched an episode of DS9 called "In the Pale Moonlight." That show rocks. I don’t care what...
Oh I am sorry :/ the world can be cruel. I hope you are able to find something really soon. Also I love rhcp.