I'm the only recovering addict in my family, the rest are active in their addiction. All I'm focused on is me & my recovery, bottomline. I've disassociated w all my so called friends. I kept no one in my life who uses w/ the exception of my mother & sister. This is solely due to the reason that I don't have a car n I need their help getting to the methadone clinic 6 days a week. I've been dealing with this n having to put up wit their crazy ass nonsense for 6 months now, as my recovery is on the line. I kno the disease, I kno that developmentally, they're teenagers n lack common sense. They also have untreated mental illnesses, are master manipulators, completely self centered & pathological liars. Obviously theres no loyalty n certainly never a unity with the 3 of us, cuz of their issues. I have n tried to help them both in every way, shape n form. I'm past the point of being beyond ready to wipe my hands clean of them, but I'm stuck between a junkie & a junkie. Last week they got into a screaming match n to spite sister, mother gave excuses daily, leaving sister no choice in being my means of getting to the clinic all but one day. Last night sister broke out the drama w all her theatrics, making her ten year old daughter to do the dirty work. Sister is queen of making a mountain out off a molehill. The situation was soo miniscule & uncalled for (a single mop pad) that it's disgustingly pathetic. They both constantly forget that I'm no longer high n constantly have a clear head & solid memory. When either break out the theatrics, I won't indulge them n when they don't get what they irrationally demand, the spite & vindictiveness surfaces immediately. Just when it seemed they were calming down from their last screaming match, I had my schedule back as far as my rides. Sister made her next spiteful move, screwing me for a ride this morn, with a triple lie. Which we easily caught her in. Not only am I sick n tired of dealing with the bs n childish games or the shit talking behind my back when they are buddy buddy. I don't need my recovery affected by”family” that supposedly “supports” me. I don't want addicts in my life. I don't want the anxiety that comes when I'm stressing over transportation to get my medication. I'm sick of being pulled into drama. They're both well aware that I can be too fragile to even deal wit any of that shit. I don't kno how much longer I can continue to be the bigger person, to keep my mouth shut n not let everything I've been bottling up, explode. My counselors & therapist all remind me to do what I can to keep my distance to keep my rides. What do I do when they're delusional n will send unsolicited texts? I'm stuck between a rock & a hard place, tween a spiteful junkie & a spiteful junkie…sigh…

2 Comments
  1. SilentCries 8 years ago

    I can imagine how hard it is to be the only recovering addict. Sending positve thoughts to you. What are you recovering from?

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  2. cutegaychic 8 years ago

    20yrs of partying with almost anything. Sent info to u ur inbox.

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