Tuesdays.. I like Tuesdays. I have no classes on Tuesdays.

Well I got well and truely hammerd last night. I ended up falling asleep around 6am. Woke up again at 11am. I’m still feeling tired. I was going to try and get some more sleep but I thought I’d come on here instead.

I know I would have made a fool of myself again last night. I don’t think I offended anyone or anything, so thats good. If I did though, I’m sorry about that. I don’t think i’m an agressive drunk, *unless the police are involved then I go crazy*.. I think First i’m a happy drunk. Giving my love to anyone.. then i’m a sad drunk. When the alcohol wares off, thats when I get sad and its not nice.. So whats the cure? don’t stop drinking? well unfortunatly that isn’t an option.. I know I can’t afford to be drunk continuously for days on end. I don’t really have a hang over today.. I’m glad. I have a slight headache, but thats about it. I think Its cause I had a bit of water inbetween drinks last night.

I really admire those people who have the courage to go out and get help. Help for anything. Asking for help is one of the hardest things to do. Myself, I find it almost impossible. I feel asthough I should be able to deal with everything myself. I know I can’t, but it’s just the way I feel. It’s the same with my Anti depressants, I don’t take them alot of the time, cause I feel like I should be able to just "make myself better". The thing is.. I do this, and I sabatage myself with alcohol. It’s a never ending cycle. It’d be great if there was just one pill, you take it, and everything is better. Unfortunatly I live in a dream world, and things like that just don’t happen.

I’d love to just have someone to hug up to..