When I was 18 years old going 19, I got my first job. It was the most fantastic day of my life when I got hired, I was there 18 years old going 19 and every cashier is on their 40's.
I couldn't be much happier either. I cannot afford anything fancy when I was not working and this is freedom for me. My mom just met my stepdad and she was often gone with him. I feel so much freedom because I don't have to deal with the stress that she kept asking where I was and how is my life, I don't have to.
But being a customer service person with anxiety doesn't really helps.
many people seems like they don't care about anyone just want to buy their items, and some in a hurry and some have time in their hands.
all these cause stress to me and I began to get really stressed out.
But before that, I was working full time 40hrs/week, 6 days…my salary is minimum 6.50/hr…still withheld of $60 I can take my paycheck of 200/week
August comes and I began school. School in morning, wake up at 5 am, take bus to school 3hours and 8:20ish class began, finished school at 11:30 pm, eat around campus or take bus to mall to waste time until 2:00pm-10pm shift.
By the time I got home, sometimes I eat if I'm hungry but I end up going to bed at 12:00am, so 5 hours.
This happens a lot and I began to become drain.
I need sleep and even on my day off I can hardly sleep.
For the first time I drink energy drink, it really boost my stamina, energy drink in the afternoon and then coffee at my lunch break at 6pm. This becomes my routine but I found out that I can't really sleep because of the coffee and energy drink that I drank earlier.
So I bought this over-the-counter sleeping pills. I sleep so well that sometimes I miss school because I don't want to wake up.
I become lazy and I kept missing school. In the end, I couldn't keep up, so I drop out one class.
Today as unemployed, looking for job, stress is more, and I have to take pills to sleep, also in the verge of divorce.
Last night I took a sleeping pills:
The dream goes
My stepdad and mom are going out to a doctor's visit. But this time, it's weird because we are living in my first stepdad's house. They are leaving but I said I want to come because I'm scared of the ghosts in the house.
The ghosts are real. Mom drove to the doctor's office and I said, I'll stay inside the car because I brought my cat with me too. I dozed off and when I woke up, my cat is gone. I was frantic and look around where the cat was, the door of my side of the van is unlocked where my cat has been. I went to the grocery store and ask around. But when I heard my name, some gang members have been looking for me. I was closer to the door, when the gang ask everyone at gunpoint to stop what they are doing and they are going to hold everyone off, until they find me. I creep out of the door and bullets starts hitting, I managed to get inside the van, and they followed me, they know how to unlock the doors and one by one no matter how many times, they keep on lockpicking them, they finally showed my cat, I opened the door and they said. "Don't worry, we have a surprise for you" "We put something inside him" "you'll see".
I clutch onto my cat and hug him, he feels weird and then I ask what have they put on him.
I don't know what to do, I love my cat so much but I was also scared to die, then it seems like it's really the end. The gangmembers point their gun in my head they are going to kill me. It's too much for me, my cat meows at me outside of my dream and I woke up. I'm so glad it's not happening in real world. It's the most disturbing dream I have had for a while.