I’ve been a victim of emotional incest and for as long as i can remember my parents have fought and i always got caught in the middle. I would scream and shout and beg at them to stop but would be continuously disregarded and ignored. I have repressed the majority of my childhood. I also struggle with concentration and being motivated to get up in the mornings to showering and I can’t work on schoolwork. When i was around eight years old i had a psychotic episode and my parents took me to church instead of getting me professional help. Only with the help of my grandmother i managed to finally forgive myself last year. I need therapy. I need help. But I cannot get any and its really hard. I’m struggling and though I wouldn’t ever act on my suicidal thoughts – they’re there and present almost every single day and I’m constantly weighed down. I feel worthless and like a complete and utter waste of space. My father tells me I’m destroying my future and he’s right. I am. And i want to get better but its so difficult without professional help. Somebody help me