Why do I keep trying, why do I go on and on, and on, day after day with no end to this misery in sight? I tried to talk in the chat room with someone about it, but no one payed attention, as usual. Once again, I have nothing to do today, nor anywhere to go. People say that this website has been great in helping them, so why do I just get ignored? I try to make friends, and do for a time, but eventually I just get ignored or blown off, I don't understand why. I don't think I've done anything.

     It's going on 3 years, and I still can't get over how hurt rebecca made me. I just wish I could make all this hurt go away, it serves no good purpose for me, but Ijust can't get over it. What's worse is now I have no health insurance, and no money to afford it, so I can't get help. I hate the fact that this country will do anything to help an immigrant make it or get better, but nothing for people born in this country, why? I just want to die, and I'm geting close to just grabbing a knife, close my eyes, and just go away from all this pain and suffering for good. In fact I might as well, it's not like anyone reading this will even care. How could any of you, no one on here knows me. I can feel myself slipping awaymore and more every day that goes by. Who'ld miss me anyway. I have no friends to be concereened about me. Parents who all my life made me feel like nothing bugt a burden, in between my dad yelling and beating the crap out of me. I never talk to anyone about stuff thats bothering me. No oned cares about me, I might as well be dead. I wish, ssssssooooooooo, sssssssssssoooooooooo, much that someone out their could help me, but I know there isn't, I'm just a lost cause in life, a failure, a loser, nothing more, and it sucks knowing that too. To any one who reads this, be thankful for the people who you love, and love you back, I wish I had that.Someone to give me a hug, or a kiss when I'm sad. Someone, when I'm feeling down to tell me it'll be alright. Be thankful if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, brother, sister, anyone who is their for you to do that for you. Stuff like that through an e-mail just isn't the same.

     Idon't know how much longer I can go on all alone. I wnat someone to love sooooo sssoooooo badly. Help me.