I don’t have anywhere to vent besides here or my journal and maybe one of yall can either connect or give a nudge. But I feel like I’m a lost cause I mean their are people that go through so much more. I know that my feelings are valid but seem less tragic.

I lost my dad to cancer in 2016, he was my everything well besides my mom. Theirs is this picture that both of them are my ship. I’m the one managing it but my dad is the guide and my mom is my anchor. That’s how I like to picture it. But anyways ever since he has passed I felt lost like I have no purpose I was so depressed to the point I quit beauty school. Then I started nannying and that really helped. But that nannying job lasted like 2 yrs. Then I had to get an actual out my home and into society job which scared me, I got many jobs but as Trish from Austin and Ally. (Iykyk) I job hopped so may times that I feel like I can’t get a job or keep a job. Till last year in 2022 I got a job as a unboxer in a retail store I loved it but one day I suddenly felts so much emotion that I started panicking that I asked if I could go home for the day and come back tomarrow and they were amazing let me tell you. They did let me go home for the day but I was so embarrassed that I never went back.

So now I it’s 2023 and well I’m still struggling with my depression even deeper because I’m a grown ass with no job, no social life, and bad mental health that sometimes sees no future cause who wants to hire a person that hardly has “actual work expirence”. And with everything in this world going on I’m losing even more hope in human kind. I’m just hoping that great things will come to me and to all.

(OH and did I mention that when I said no social life, I mean I’m really scared of going out by myself).