Yesterday started out so well. Even though it was hot, I spent most of the day tending to my flowers and garden – it gives me so much happiness and peace. And when I smile at a flower, it smiles back! Felt good enough to meet with some friends last night, so John and I ventured out after he got home from work. It\'s not really in my comfort zone to do that kind of thing very often, but I really felt up to the challenge.

Things went along fine, and then the discussion turned to my garden. Someone made a thoughtless comment about much money I must spend on my "hobby", and that there are so many other things that it could be spent on, blah blah blah. I felt my anxiety rearing up, and eventually I got so upset that I asked John if we could leave – I just wanted to go home. He was really good about it, and all the way home he kept telling me that it was just a stupid comment, and that he loves to see how happy my garden makes me and that it \'s nobody elses business what we choose to spend our money on.I tried so hard to listen to what he was saying, but by the time we got home, I was in full panic mode, couldn\'t stop crying and feeling like maybe I really was being selfish and foolish to do what I do. . . I just shut down, and nothing he was saying to me was registering in my head. After a miserable couple of hours, I took a shower, took my meds and went to bed. Went over it and over it in my head for hours, until I finally got so tired that I fell asleep. Woke up early this morning, and of course, it was the first thing that popped into my mind and I started thinking about it again. . . John had left a little note for me by the coffeemaker, reminding me to "smell the roses" today – so that\'s what I did. I went out to the garden, looked all the little smiling faces, and it made me feel better. I just don\'t know why such stupid stuff sets me off like that. Even though it was just a stupid comment, it made me question all my decisions and how I am perceived and judged, even by a friend.

My wonderful sister-in-law is the person who gave me the gift that reads "I most often find that happiness is right where I planted it", and for me, it is literally true. I am going to spend the day (even though it is stifling hot) tending to my flowers and doing something that makes me happy. Hopefully, by the time I go to bed tonite, I will have put it in perspective and remembered that it doesn\'t matter what anyone else thinks – what matters is that I have to do whatever it is that makes me happy, and more importantly, do whatever it takes to make me well.

Take a little time to "smell the roses" in your life, and I hope you all have a happy day! M.