Well fellow tribal entities, tonight I have no insight, no wisdom, no great quote. I\'ve been busy lately, or so I tell myself. I work, I come home, I eat, I sleep, I return to work. My job used to be satisfying, but now it\'s just a way to keep living. I do have to wonder though, what "living" is if all I do is work and sleep.
I realize all the stuff I just typed has, at one time or another, crossed the mind of many people. I know that I\'m being pushed into the future and it doesn\'t matter if I want to go there or not. I\'m scared of what might be waiting for me, even though I know it will be a new and exciting experience that I will look back on with smiles (and tears). …….. Wow, almost sounds like I have cold feet and about to be married. That isn\'t the case, haven\'t met the right woman yet….even though I have tried (and still am).
Ok, if you got this far I will give you some knowledge. Each morning I take 3000mg of Vit-D3 and 1 B-Complex pill. The Vit-D3 is to keep me health, and it has been working GREAT. The B-Complex is to keep me sane and non-aggressive.
But how can a B-Complex keep me sane and unaggressive you say? Easy, I\'m weird and my chemistry has to be just right or I\'ll go nutty. I skipped the pill for a few days and would have had no problem telling my coworkers and the bosses exactly how I felt about them. Which, would probably mean that I would be without a job. I have too much at stake right now for that to happen. How the fuck I got trapped in the rat race which I tried to hard to stay out of…I just don\'t know.
Anyway, back to the present…
I feel tired, driving home I was like a zombie. I had to concentrate to even get my eyes to stay on the road ahead of me. Not a good spot to be in while in a large metal object traveling fast down a paved road, you know?
I\'m tired of staying home, but I don\'t ever seem to want to go out on the weekends.
I\'m tired of my job, but I\'m afraid to quit without having somewhere else to go.
I\'m tired of working, but I don\'t take vacation because where the hell can I go alone that would be any fun for me?
It may seem like a lot of excuses, and maybe that is all it is…I don\'t know. I\'m just trying to live my life, be happy, be quiet, be a good little soldier, do what I\'m told, go where I should be…….
…I\'m out of words