SO here I am it has been a day and a half…It started with the water freezing….on the hot side….so we have cold water but no hot…..my day started with a four hour trip to Las Vegas…..and ended back in my home…

I have to go out of town for food because the store here in town is so expensive…it is still cheaper to drive four hours one way ….My mother is the one in whom I drive down…she is 74 years old…and she stays young by getting out of this town on the weekends..I guess….she keeps on going though…my father passed away 10 years ago…from a messed up surgery on his heart…he basically died in my hands….I have been getting my self into my work and so far seemingly running away from the fact that he is not alive any more…

any way back to the reason that today was so long….my wife decided that it was my fault that the water was frozen even though it had nothing to do with it being -10′ last night…and said that I always leave when problems come up…yet for every problem that has come up over the past 25 years I have always managed to fix the problem….even if I was several hours away….I When she burnt the family van up I got home within the day to see that there was nothing I could do…because she never saved the money to fix the problem of the heater core and so the engine ran out of water then she had one of my boys re-fill the radiator with cold water….which craked the block and heads…..when ever there is a water break in the house I am the only one who gets under the house to fix it…..when the roof blew off I was the only one who climbed up and fixed the roof…so I am the only one out ofr the 6 of us tht is always there…When dinner is needed I am the one who normally fixes it. Yet I am talked about behind my back by her to those who will listen to her…that she is the only one who does any thing…and I do nothing for her….I am at a loss…I am nothing to her…I guess….

How can I go on???? How can she insult me when I am actually the only one left who will listen to her mindless babble….complaining about how she has no friends….I believed in her for sooo long and now I am at a loss as to what to do…

I have been there for her when her brothers died…I was there for her when her Grandfather died, and when her Mother died..I helped out with every thing down to talking about her mother in a talk about her because she did not want to embarrass her self….(It was ok for me to embarrass my self but not her) I did it though and she sat back and bragged about how her husband did this thing for her  because he loves her….to her sisters whose husbands would not be caught dead speaking about the woman….I knew more about her mother than she did…because I study people for the most part and listen to them…..because everyone has something to say even if it is long and drawn out (Like this Blog LOLOL)

I know it seems as though I am venting yet I think that I am, but it still helps because the 8 hour trip to Vegas and back really made it hard for me… my mother talks for hours and will seldom let me talk or speak that which I am thinking at the time….I drive this trip many many times over the year…and normally I am by my self….I listen to many different type of music….inorder to get through the day…it keeps me steady….but when I do not have the music…I become unsteady….so I guess that is why I have felt the need to write this….to stabilize my self….

THanks for your time if you read this ……It really helps me….