Lisa, I am not one of your "friends" so I could not leave you a comment. I decided to write this hoping that you see it.
Please don\'t leave the site, it sounds to me like you need to talk to all of us more than ever. I\'ve been where you are now, and believe me, it\'s not what you think. 2 years ago, I swallowed every single med I had, and everything else I could get my hands on. When the paramedics came (thanks to my husband) they did a quick count and figured that I took over 200 pills. . . I woke up in the hospital, had a complete mental breakdown and after my time in the "lock up" ward, I came back home. I was never so glad to see my world again in my life, even with all its pain and flaws. I was so happy to be alive, and have one more chance to get the help I needed and live a life that was worth living.
Its\' been a long and painful process, full of days when I took 1 step forward and 5 steps back, but I am finally feeling like I am coming out of the storm. Now I just take 1 day at a time, sometimes 1 hour, or 1 minute at a time, but I rely on my doc and myself to get through it. I have a wonderful family, loving and caring, and they do all they can to help me. But in the end, it\'s not about anyone else but YOU, YOU are the most important person in your life, YOU are the person who has to deal with your issues, YOU are worth it. . . . You are NOT who you think you are, it\'s the illness that you see and feel, and YOU can get beyond that and find yourself.
I hope that you see this, and that you reconsider everything you are thinking and feeling right now. Give it 1 more minute, 1 more hour, 1 more day, 1 more year, whatever it takes. . . but give yourself the chance to find whatever it is that you need or want – WE ARE ALL WORTH SOMETHING TO OURSELVES. I am thinking of you, and will continue to hope that you are able to weather this storm you are living in. You get lots of chances for do-overs in your life. Take the do-over, YOU CAN DO IT!