I feel that I am living two lives.
Today I blew off spending time with my boyfriend to help my old roommates/ friends clear out their storage unit. I was missing my charger to my laptop and I couldn’t find it in my stuff or my car, so I figured that it was in my old roommates storage unit. When I got to my friends house I came into a bad conversation about one of our co-workers that I didn’t want to be apart of because she was upset that she found out that our co-worker was lying about dating another co-worker. I didn’t want to be apart of this conversations because I had already known about this. Finally the conversation had ended and we got to work. We went to the storage unit 3 times and helped go through things that they wanted to keep out and go back into storage in there other room.
I had made plans with my boyfriend to go with him to his work tonight. We plan to go play Pokémon go and drink with his co-workers. I agreed to these plans because I feel bad that I wasn’t going to spend time with him. I had gone to the coast with my family the other day and was ignoring him so that my family wouldn’t find out that I was back together with my ex. He was upset with me because I wasn’t talking to him and that he wants to spend time with me. Then I go and plan to help my friends.
While I was with my friends there was so much I wanted to tell them but I couldn’t because they don’t know that I got back together with my ex and they really don’t like him. When the time was getting close for my boyfriend to get to work I came up with an excuse to go home and I used my new roommate and his kids as an excuse to go home.
I am lying to avoid conflict with everyone. But it is also going to ruin my relationship with everyone including my relationship with my boyfriend. I don’t know what I am going to do. But this feeling is horrible. I thought if I keep my friends and family clueless things will be alright but it hasn’t and it wont. I don’t know how but I’m going to come out with the truth.