at the urging of a great friend here ,i will relate some of the history of my recent beautiful relationship which ,much to my horror crashed in to flames this past week….I had been widowed from my Love for some eight months,living alone and lonely,despairing of ever meeting anyone who could provide solace and help fill the void. Well we finally met, she as a coordinator for a charitable org. and i also as a volunteer.We had many phone chats before actually meeting, mostly on the topic of widowhood—she lost her husband three years prior.For the past ten months or so we have grown much closer.To the point ,where in the last month or so, we planned to sell our houses and buy a house of our own.We are much different yet found many common bounds.She is a "city girl"spent years in Manhattan,worked for/travelled for large corporations.Shes retired but introduced me to her numerous friends at parties etc. I adapted and attempted to fit in. I live on a small farm ,have always done my own thing (no bosses) Earned a living doing everything from repairing and selling houses to selling my paintings and stone sculptures…She had her share of travail in her lifeshe cared for her dying husband,seeking out alternative therapies.Then in quick succession cared for a dying mother and cared for a father with altzheimers–until he too passed.I saw how she volunteered so much time to charity work,at the same time having a large circle of friends ,and i was much impressed..She has a grown daughter,in this area with twoseven year old twins,she decided to move here from florida for good after her father died to be close to the twins and the daughter(who she has always been somewhat estranged from since teenage years when there was a divorce). Well this daughter ,who is in her 40shas unresolved issues with her mother (to the point of publicly sniping at and insulting her)Looking at her ,at first glance she a former school principal,should be much more in control and adjusted. Well she does not like me at all and on Thanksgiving came up with a scheme to sabbotage Judy and my relationship.Then it was a matter of "him" or the grandchildren. holding them hostage, so to speak .Blood is thicker than water—so January30th.i'm out with the bath water.Her daughter is a control freak, and my friend wants to be the mother she never was with this daughter.Who do i "blame" I blame myself of course.Initially i saw all the little cracks and fissures that might develop into major faults.However, ever the optimist,and also desperate for it to work i prevailed and hoped and worked at itAll for naught. I learned much from her. Travelled far and wide,she opened my mind to any number of facets of life.What have i learned? Basically what i already knew,people do not change I could not change my principles when someone insults someone i care for eventually i must speakup.Right now it hurts to much to say i love her –after all this action was unilateral .In the future after i hopefully find a true love ,i can look back on all this and just see the fond memories